diary.

2005-02-12T14:02:00.000+08:00

Its Final

ears on: Head Automatica - Beating Heart Baby

okay, its the final goodbye. :)

click along the dotted line to follow me home.

...

see you there!

2005-02-12T10:24:00.000+08:00

Goodbyes

ears on: Zed - Starlight

nearly 600 entries into this blog. lols. its been nearly two years and hell ive grown attached to this virtual aunt agony. but im moving on to LiveJournal. :) so, i'll place the link soon. this blog wouldnt be deleted though. hehe. bittersweet memories, ouh.

<3 sufina.

2005-02-08T20:21:00.000+08:00

If Only I Could Leave

ears on: Avenged Sevenfold - Warmness On The Soul

todays Chinese New Year celebration in school was stupid. the choir mimed some songs and then came the Chinese Dance girls. Dikir Barat was oookaylah, the limelight of the show. hwkawhkahw. how i laughed at rafis and irsyads imitations and sarcasm to those boys onstage. after that was the Chinese Orchestra, my pick along with DK. the way they handled the instruments was rather enchanting. lols. i was looking at Hui Kai, my pretty yet introverted classmate. she was gorgeous on stage, her fingers daftly fingering the chords of her guitar-like instrument. cool sak. if only i knew how to play an instrument. nyah.

oh, i have a question. is it okay for attached Chinese girls to flirt and get touchy with other boys who are only their friends? as in is it okay for their other half? btw, its just an inquiry. im not pointing my fingers at anyone, although i would like to. heh.

as expected, no lessons even if there was the so called "two-hours of studytime" shit. nyarahaha. received my E Maths test paper and i paaaasssseeeedddddd. *throws confetti it wasnt a mere pass, it was a pass pass. yeehaw! lols. an hour later, was supposedly to have mother tongue. okay so Miss Mus wasnt there but whyyy cant we just slack around the MacD tables outside the malay room? hrmph. so followed the bunch of nutsomaniacs from 4M3 to their class and sat around talking shit. okay, it wasnt talking. it was more like a musical. everyone was singing some shit. whakwhakhw. talked to Helmi about some stuff which i fucking hope gets into his thick head that has rings of hair on top. Irsyad is lending me his bag on Friday, although i know no shit about what bag he is talking about. whakwhakwh.

me: aku nak beli bag uh. (wonders aloud)
irsyad: nati aku kasi kau bag on friday.
me: eh? ehsiakeh! kasi!
irsyad: eh salah. pinjam.
me: aler. bag pe?
irsyad: adelah satu bag ni. adeelaaaaaaah. (starts singing)
me: (starts to sing along)
helmi, rafi & ria: (starts to sing)
liana: you you you all sing like like somebody die die leh.
irsyad: aggagagag. gagap ah. skinheadddddd. (continues singing)

whakhahw. lame but i dig hanging out with these people - Helmi, Ria, Rafi and Irsyad. plus Fatin, of course. seriously talking, i dont think i have any other friends from school that i can and would trust. no offence though.

afterschool went to KFC with a crazy boy. hehe. damnnn retarded. *snorts sayang bought for me another free meal (yay! lols.) for no good reason. met Helmi and Husaini there. hwkahwkahw. Helmi gave me that evil eye and a sick gesture with his forefinger that seemingly appeared to be the erection of someones little johnny, or a seedling sprouting. take your pick.

oh mehhh goddddd. what in the world is that kid thinking sapppp.

the trip back home with sayang was as usual hilarious. omg. never have i laughed that bad, aside the trips with fatin lah. hahaha. "okay shutttt!"

life at home is so mundaneeee. aside nenek, that is. she would always give me a new scenario to play along. like today, i was some apek selling durians. ehsiakeh. the lightbulbs at the ceiling fan were the durians. whkahwakhwa. i love youuuu nenek! fell asleep for an hour while bargaining with her. woke up, momster and pa had just left the builing. so called sayang and continued the nonsense. whkawhkahw.

two days to kill. im starting on my secondary three revision, i think. i have to. i must! oh, its a life and death situation.

2005-02-07T18:49:00.000+08:00

I'd Kill For Oranges

ears on: Misfits - Scream

today, i flunked Physics but passed Social Studies. nyah. and i thought my results would be the other way round. personally i think Physics is much more easier than Social Studies, but to get 75% for Social Studies that is heaven. lols. i've been flunking it since gods knows when. okay since secondary one. threatened by Mr Khoo to better buck up. *rolls eyes

momster still havent let go of the subject on sayang. hrmph. what a cockedoodledoo. nyah. but then again, i dont give a fuck lah. right now all im focusing in life is my studies, my faith, sayang and my two superheroes - Fatin and Helmi.

afterschool went to sayangs house and hung out as usual since Biology with Mrs Anshad was cancelled. THANK YOU GOD! whakwhahwka. played this Matrix game on his PS2 and yeah, im hooked. whakwaw. it was fucking hilarious sakkk. okay, FYI, never ever play PS2 with me. why? id go screaming till my face turns redder than red. so, my face was redder that red. i was laughing until i nearly wet my knickers. (*grins at Fatin) that game was cool. hwawhkahw. i fucking fucking love martial arts, only i dont get the chance to get a go since momster considers it illegal.

(trust me, my mother is psychotic and way way way from outer outer space.)

hrmph.

played for an hour then he had to go for his soccer so i went back home. met with Rafi and bought Joannes birthday prezzie. sweet-tooth kid! (: then bought food and walked back home with Rafi. whkahwkahw. one hell of a buddy lah. one of the few who can handle me during PMS. nyarahaha.

ouh. my life is so boring. and i need to go pee now.

(*grins at Fatin, again.)

2005-02-04T21:10:00.000+08:00

He's Just A Boy

ears on: Alter Bridge - Broken Wings

im feeling so fucking frustrated over nothing. uber pissed off at nothing. nearly weeping when listening to Broken Wings. and to know that he is still not at home is making me nuts.

honey, its PMS.

edited: changed the song to Alter Bridge's Broken Wings. enjoy. (:

2005-02-02T23:59:00.000+08:00

ears on: Muse - Time Is Running Out

its the fifth month. :)

lots of love, hugs and kisses - till god knows when.

2005-02-01T21:24:00.000+08:00

No Matter What Darling

ears on: Avenged Sevenfold - I Won't See You Tonight

life at home is cold. getting more and more distant from momster, pa and abang. honey, i dont give a fuck. dont ask me why.

i loooove Miss Jane. whakwhahw. one hell of a teacher to talk to, seriously. told her what happened at home and she reacted exactly how Helmi and Fatin would react to - laugh and get red in the face and give some fucking hilarious yet sarcastic comment about momster and pa.

HAHA.

my favourite one was - "Your parents (coughs) are (giggles) very adorable (snorts) you know, (laughs), really! But in a very scary (giggles) Chucky way! (snorts)"

MAHAHA.

i like to see her face go red. go red, go go! whkahwakhwahw. told her about sayang and she gave me the eye, as in the look. that small eyes staring cross-eyed at me then told me - "Ouhhh, good choice. Buuuut, study first okehhhh."

HAHAHA.

ohho, i love her. and i love her job, an English-Literature and Social Studies Teacher. okeh, minus the Social Studies. :) i fail it every year. oh mehhh god!

tomorrows the eve of the fifth month with sayang, that wacky screwhead. hehe. madly in love and would always be, no matter what momster says. :) sadly, he has the soccer match tomorrow and im having my trip to Singapore Poly on thursday. friday? he has NCC or soccer again. ouh what a darling, such busy kids. bluek. weekends are spent at the other house and next monday its the same cycle.

Mondays: sayang's soccer. my class ends at 3pm +. boo.
Tuesdays: Hang out and drive each other nuts. i love Tuesdays. :)
Wednesdays: sayang's soccer, again. double boo.
Thursdays: im free for less than an hour before my ODAC starts. bluek.
Fridays: sayang's soccer or NCC. *shakes head
Saturdays + Sundays: off to the other house.

nyaaaah. busy people. and its way more hard without the cellular and barred from the house phone. fuckenetoon ah. oh but, im still madly in love. hehe. and there are the in-between-lesson breaks meetings. oh yeah, i dig those minutes. :)

i cant wait to be sixteen. okay, so it comes with its free goodiebag and a truckload of surprises, and also reaching adulthood. BUT. hehe. a week after that would be a year with sayang. cool eh. hehe.

i cant help but smile and daydream. honey, dont burst this bubble.

although it might. *cross eyes

okeh, physics is calling me. theres a test tomorrow. oh btw, todays presentation was sort of impromptu but Mr Khoo was impressed. hehehehe. yeah, im grinning like fuck cos its hard to please and asskiss that bugger. HAHA. in your face [put name here]!

HAHAHA.

okeh, study study study. O Levels are coming.

somebody stop mehhh from reminding myself.

oh mehhh godddd.

folie a deux - craziness for two, and its only me and you.

i ♥ him.

talk about being mushy. hehe.

2005-01-31T01:32:00.000+08:00

My Heart Heart Heart!

ears on: My Chemical Romance - Vampires Will Never Hurt You

life has been weird. momster is being a tad nicer than her normal self but pa has been outrageously rude. talking to me like i belong in some fucked up military school whatsoever. one thing for sure, im getting more and more distant from my family except for nenek. :) shes the one thing i adore and would always talk to when i reach home. hehe. nenek gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me to behave myself. sweet. i love youuu nenek!

stopped over at Kopitiam and bought five bucks worth of healthy junk food to pig out. wahwkahw. four hours of ultimate peace, what more can i ask? lols. pigging out is a nice way to destress. :)

reality sunk into me just now when i realised that i no longer have any tuition to back me up on my studies. O Levels are coming in a few months time and i still need to conquere my secondary three work. its scary but true. thats why im starting to concentrate in class and tend to be oblivious to whats going on. im thinking of a courier that involves English, Shakespear/Literature and nothing about Mathematics. so yeah, English Literature Teacher. cool. i mean, i harcore dig English and Literature so why not take teaching as a profession kan? hehe. my two favourite teachers are my role models - Miss Jane Ingham and Miss Wati. lols. afterall, these two teachers knows me the best. they know what goes on at home, and i mean what goes on at home.

anw, Miss Jane told me to think of a book dramatisation. oh, cool! i thought of using Shakespear's Taming Of The Shew. whakwhakwha. its my favourite literature story. feminist and hilarious. but then, to make it into the modern day version, its like following the movie Ten Things I Hate About You. whakwhka. inoriginal. hmm. but i sitll love that story. so as director, i get to do the casting. whakwha. hmm. Katrina, the shrew. Pav? hahaha. Bianca, the sister. Ida! lols.

"How Do I Loathe Thee? Let Me Count The Ways."

ohho, today had some form of satisfaction. scream at someone i despise in class.

The shit hath hitith the bitch!

translated - the shit has hit the bitch. HAHAHA. in your face, fuckkid.

love, love. le love. le amor.

folie à deux, it means craziness for two.

or in my case, its a mental disorder which occurs simultaneously in two people with a close relationship or association.

six days more to five months. ouh, i cant wait.

THAT WAS ON FRIDAY.

both momster and pa has been nasty, but i dont give a shit. ive been ignoring the family except nenek since that incident. surprisingly, i have been praying five times a day. praying and asking for forgiveness. praying for nenek and his mother. praying that id change into someone better. praying that i wouldnt do anymore harm and hurt to my family. i prayed for him and me too. :) and i prayed that the people around me would change.

life is bittersweet and its not a bed of roses. but hey, i can change it if i want to. and i will.

love you always sayang. *mmuahs!

nenek, you craaazy nenek. stop pinching me. hehe. i love you!

and fatin + helmi, you guys rock my life. <3 you wondergirl and superman. whakhwka.

so yeah, i prayed to Allah that these three groups of people so dear to my heart would be safe always. :)

2005-01-28T15:54:00.000+08:00

2005-01-26T17:07:00.000+08:00

He's My Only One

ears on: Ruffedge - Bila Rindu

yesterday was fucking shit.

in short, momster and pa found about sayang.

the rest? oh, lets just say it wasnt rah rah. more of a fuckfuckfuckfuck.

but today?

today was awfully sweet. i realised that even if i have such a fucked up family, the friends that i have are still there. i know, its supposed to be the opposite way. but like i said, unconventional. hee. aside that, sayang was being oh so sweet and understanding. :) so i promised him that i would concentrate on my studies and prove them wrong. whakwhakhw. ohho darlinggg, i just had a rad idea.

imagine im still with Zul in like what, five years more? okay, make it two. after JC. whakhwa. wonder what will my parents say. awhakwhakhw.

but yeah, it was very touching (im very sappy lah!) to have your friends console you. :) fatin, helmi, hidayah, rafi, joann and denise. oh, one more. hehe. i dont think he knows what went wrong but his gesture did help. lols. thanks haziq! lols. and to the six names above, i love love love you people! :)

school sucks, the people inside dont. okay, school and majority of the girls and boys, or should i say mats and minahs, suck.

mahahaHAHAHA. oh you typical shitfucks. when my MSN nick was "Skinny girls with short skirts are not attractive." lots of girls from school pm-ed me, asking if i was talking about them. so yeah, my first reaction was "Ouh, prasaannya!" hahaha. sarcasm, i like.

here is a list of my hates:

i hate Von Dutch. i hate people with tappered pants. i hate girls with short school skirts, be it altered or folded a hundred fold. i hate girls who dont tie up their hair in school. i hate girls who scream for attention. i hate girls who knows peanuts about soccer but still sit and squeal at the bleachers. i hate girls who stare for no fucking good reason. i hate girls who wear make-up in school. i hate girls who go for pretty boys. i hate shallow girls. i hate girls who bodek teachers and/or boys with cute voices. i hate people with no originality. i hate girls who bitch. i hate girls who gather in toilets before/after lessons, during recess and after school. i hate girls who sit and laugh out loud shamelessly. i hate flirty girls. i hate girls who are hardcore pink addicts, as in even their knickers and bras have to be pink. i hate girls who play shy. i hate girls who fear to perspire during p.e. i hate girls who diss with such limited vocabulary.

and again, i hate Von Dutch.

skimming is so cliche. those boardshorts and stuff. oh, hello. you dont have a beach in your own backyard.

oh, hate me.

one more, i hate a girl in school. guess who!

okay, i need to eat.

i hate skinny girls with short skirts.

2005-01-25T17:50:00.000+08:00

I Promise

ears on: Siti Nurhaliza - Kembalikan Indah

the trip to Seremban was rah rah. :) missed the kampung people there! ohho those cute girls, najwa aka wawa and fatin - theyre only three, and two days apart of each other. i love you girls!

left is Fatin, right is Wawa.

monday was emotionally draining. so was today. i do seem a tad too hyper, i know. there were many comments. well, thats the way i deal with pressure. i get all fucking gung-ho and chirpy. too chirpy.

tomorrows the physics presentation. nothing fucking shit has been done. so its up to me then to save the day tomorrow.

sayang, im sorry. for being paranoid or whatever you call it. i hate my family. not hate, just dislike their conservative mindset. i hate it when they jump to conclusions. i hate it when they dont trust me. i hate it when they dont agree with what i see. i hate it when they dont understand what i see.

i hate it when have a twisted version of what sayang is.

i hate it.

2005-01-19T22:37:00.000+08:00

I Loved You The Most

ears on: Ari Lasso - Cinta Sejati

last night was emotional, yet meaningful. today was lethargic, yet fun.

life is bittersweet, i conclude.

stayed back to watch the soccer match between Ahmad Ibrahim and MSL. ah, not an expert on football but it was a good match. the people played fair, it was exciting. yeah, we lost. lols. but that was what Mr Irwin wanted, contradictingly. there was a lesson learnt i guess - go ask the soccer boys.

hehehe. my heart was fucking paltipating lah! another conclusion - boys look hot in soccer jerseys, especially sayang. bluek!

sat with raudhah, that craaaazy bitch. wahkwhakhw. made some sarcastic yet HILARIOUS comments about this particular person, the people at the gallery and the people behind the goal post - the second gallery. ohho, sarcasm is fun.

yeah, i so feel like some sadistic bastard. kill me, kill me!

met Sadiq. lols. he looked different from his snapshots. oh well, lets use the 'camera adds ten pounds' theory uh.

i hate majority of the girls sitting at the gallery. shallow sarcasm was passed amongst themselves, whining on why MSL was so "weaaaaaak saaaaaaak!". heh. dumb blondes in disguise. sickening i tell you, sickening! how they would diss our players because of a mistake or a case of butter fingers, and toes. how they would scream/neigh in their petty voices.

yeah baby, i so need to apply this quote on them!

"skinny girls with short skirts are not attractive!"

burn baby burnnn!

*snorts

like i said before, i so totally despise most of the girls in school. only some gets the thumbs up. what bitches. honey, i cant wait to graduate from MSL.

:)

had a heart-to-heart with sayang last night, and did tear up - a bit. HAHAHA. told you i was an emotional bitch.

maybe forever is forever. lols.

sufina ♥ azizul

okay, time to bedaaaaal!

2005-01-19T22:36:00.000+08:00

ALERT!

ears on: Switchfoot - Dare You To Move

oh, forgot. hehe. back on sunday! will be off to Seremban with 3/4 of the family.

wish me luck.

trust me, family outings suck to the fucking hard core.

God, save me.

2005-01-18T18:27:00.000+08:00

Anger For Dummies

ears on: Sheila On 7 - Kita

today was fucking shit. yesterday was another load of fucking shit. ohho, i hate tests. however, i still find Physics and Chemistry fun. only had four hours of sleep for the past few days. lethargy has never been this bad.

but then again, yesterday was sweet. lols. :) *mmmmuahs!

today, i was fucked up on so many occasions that i lost count. whakwha. wrote a short poem, 'twas oh so sad. fucking shit dammit. i so hate tests. WHO DOESNT! LOLS. didnt get to see much of sayang though. hahaha. was kind of frustrated by that lah, adding more to that fucked up feeling. then did a song, with the music and all. too bad i dont know how to write down chords. it was this mellow song, very depressed. whakwhakwh. but afterschool things were okay. no longer pissed off.

yeah i know. im such a temperamental bitch. at least i admit that i am one.

this girl from school asked how long we've been together. hint, hint - ALIEN VERSUS PREDATOR! akwhakwhakwh. yeah, she asked. nosy bitch lah. i hate most of the secondary three girls at school. sue me for that. only some gets the hi five. try entering the loo before lessons, during/after recess and after school; its plastics galore! i dont know what they take the loo for, a makeup room or a place for me to piss in peace. whakwha.

i called an old schoolmate earlier and he told me that my voice reminded him of his ex. oookay. and my laughter was like hers. oooookay. oh, i look like her too. OOOKAYYYYY.

*snorts

oh, oh! i got this funny quote from the man-like woman, Ms Chow!

"Skinny girls with short skirts doesnt equate to being sexy or attractive! Oh, it applies to fat ones too."

HAHAHAHAHA. ohho, i ~~love~~ like that ~~bitch's~~ woman's quote.

hehe. siao.

2005-01-16T22:41:00.000+08:00

Never Be Replaced

ears on: Cold - No One

fucken. i still got one more English homework to be done. A Maths? alah, tomorrow can copy. SHITTYFUCK! i forgot about the Physics and Biology test tomorrow.

i hate seconday four life.

2005-01-16T18:28:00.000+08:00

Then and Now

ears on: I Honestly Love You - Olivia Newton-John

just added my archives and read the entries of 2004. lols. what caught my eye was the entries from September onwards. ehehe. those were the days when i started to get closer to sayang. LOLS. i was kind of trying to avoid him - natural reaction. there was the normal confusion of decisions between him and this other guy. well, i made the right choice, kan tin? lols. *grins. read about our initial study dates and late night phonecalls. ehehe. still doing it now. he didnt change, neither did i. his hilarity grew, and we understood each other more. the feelings we had for each other developed more and more. :) and it is still going on strong. the trust we built is getting stronger. he accepted me for who i was. i think it helped that we were sort-of best friends before we got closer. he is still one of the best friends i ever had. i am who i am with him. yeah, thats cool. and now, its near to five months. two weeks to the fifth month anniversary.

i love you.

sufina ♥ azizul!

LOLS. :D

not forgetting those people who stood by me throughout 2004 - fatin, helmi, pavalam, denise, rafi, hafiz, haziq, soleha, maya, rohaidayu, fairuz, syam and so much more.

secondary life is the best!

oh fuck. i forgot im having my physics re-test. shittyfuck.

oh, i still love Phsyics though. *grins.

2005-01-16T11:44:00.000+08:00

Ten Years More, Am I Yours?

ears on: John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John - Summer Nights

yesterday was fun. woke up at seven, sms-ed with sayang. went into MSN at eight and talked to him. ohho, laughter was abundant. then, he went back to sleep. lols. lazy arsehole, you! *grins. then he sms-ed me again at two, and i called him. from two to seven in the evening, we talked. in between that, had a minor fight that started from two stubborn kids that dared each other to hang up. whkahwkahw. sounds stupid, i know. so yeah, we both got fucked up and started to raise our voices. i was pissed. HAHA. yep, i was. i know he was too. so then there was silence. i KNOW it sounds sappy but i wanted to cry. HAHAHAHA. what a pathetic bitch, you'd think. i'd agree with that too. the sweet thing was that he apologised. awww. so we kissed and made-up without the kissing. lols.

talked about what would piss us off and i finally told him (after two phonecalls with Ida and a lot of persuasion from her) about that BITCH of a friend that i am starting to despise. any girl would hate her, if she did the same thing to them. and he told me about two particular schoolmates that did pissed him off. i was shocked and fucked up at what they told him about me.

oh, but i'll continue being friends with these two jackasses although im dearly tempted to cut them up with my razorblade and smother them with horsepiss. :) and im being nice.

hung up at seven thirty, then called back again at eight thirty. HAHAHA. no, im not being some pathetic clingy bitch that has to check up on her man every other second. i just like talking to him. so yeah, there were those dirty stuff like dirty old balls and boobs and also more intellectual stuff lah. he told me about his conversation with his mother about me. lols. its nice to know that his family accepts you, y'know? :) friendly bunch of hilarious people. they're like so different from one another, and so vulgar at times. awhkahwkahw. a so-called gothic brother who was laughed at by his grandmother, mother and sister for wearing eye-liner. HAHAHA. azizi the celakboy! so we talked until twelve thirty until momster and pa went back from the other house. late night smses and finally fell asleep.

i loved yesterday.

but, last night's dream scared me. :( wont tell it here though. its too personal. but its something about nenek.

called sayang immediately after i woke up, i wanted to cry. the two people dear to me - sayang and nenek. he calmed me down, told me relax. a dream is just a dream, right? i don't know. it felt so real.

don't ever let go, well at least not for now.

love you nenek. *mmmuahs.

pav, im here. don't cry girl. :) always here. call me anytime alrights.

sayang, thanks for everything. *mmmuahs.

2005-01-15T13:32:00.000+08:00

I LOVE YOU!

ears on: Amuk - Biskut Rendam Kopi O

*grins

finally finished the layout. changed the colours and all. re-edit the edited snaphots and voila! phew. a few more adjustments and im done. :)

momster bought the pirated version of 'Puteri Gunung Ledang'. okay, so i told her to get the original one but it was out of stock. alah, who cares. not much of those karat-ness unlike other pirated VCDs'.

staying back at school sucked. eh tint eh. wkahwahawk. after tint left and the ex-co meeting has adjourned, sat at the canteen waiting for sayang's match to end. went to the toilet, half a dozen minahs were there, editing their mascaras and eyeliners for the soccerboys.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

seriously, i felt like bursting with laughter. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. oh young girls these days. they think short skirts and skinny legs are seductive. on the contrary, i think they look like shaven birds with nothing but a bare rag to cover their bony arses - with their common slingbags raised up so high. or their fellow besties, obese girls with skirts folded a hunderd fold. oh, i dont get why make-up and short skirts are a necessity in school. i despise most of the girls in the malay dance. most, but not all. those minahs are in there. some of the girls, their personality are okay. but the rest. omfg. short skirts, tight shirts. screaming their pathetic voices. showing off their butt.

girls these days, oh god.

observing people pays a price. you would start to compare people and then to stereotype them into a certain category. and trust me, more than not, malay girls fill up the spaces for the 'minahs'.

how sickening. fuck those mats and minahs. fuck those people who follow trends, those trendy-wankers. those poseurs. people with no originality.

*snorts

2005-01-12T19:11:00.000+08:00

Your Kiss In Class

ears on: Olivia Newton-John - Sandra Dee

changed the layout. hmm. i think it needs some adjustments. ah fuck. im too tired to change it. took me two hours to do this new one. whakwhawh. so if i were to see this layout on someone elses blog, oh god save that person. alah, im damn picky about originality and stuff lah.

addicted to the Grease soundtrack! whakwhkahw. ouh those retro days. Helmi lent me the CD and ive been listening to it for the past four hours. awhkahw. like i said, i dig retro stuff. its rad. :)

todays trip to Causeway Point with the old gang from 2M2 was a huge revival. whakwh. it was fun. at first there were only four of us, me, Tint, Helmi and Rafi. bumped into Faizal who decided to tag along. okay, cool.

NOT!

in the holy name of shopping, never ever go shopping with boys that dont appreciate shopping.

awhakwakhw. going out with them is cool, but to hang out for shopping? oh, no. okay, so maybe with Helmi its okay. lols. even he is kinda picky. went out with him once and prolly that would be the only time lah. LOLS. unless im bribed.

went back home with Tint, Rafi and Faizal. sent Tint to the junction and walked back home with Rafi and Faizal infront. hilaaarious people. sarcastic, yet hilarious. ah, sarcasm at its best.

you know what? im fucking hungry. toodles.

maybe ill update later.

maybe.

2005-01-11T20:11:00.000+08:00

Honey, Stop!

ears on: Shanty - Persembahan Dari Hati

yesterday was absolutely horrible. but then again, things can change. yesterday was too fucking fucking fucking sick to be told. seriously. alah, something about my parents. only one Le Nutsomaniac knew, and that means that it IS fucking fucking fucking sick to be told. oh Tint, ill tell you soon.

today was weird, in both the nice and scary way. the scary weird part had something to do with yesterdays event. the nice one happened during recess. hmm. nice? i dont know. more of a sick yet heartwarming kind of weird. wait wait, it wasnt heartwarming lah. was it? whatever it was, it was WEIRD with capital everything (as you can see). something about the past. but nope, im not going to succumb to him. *squints eyes

i like weird, but hardcore weirdness like today.. nah, i can take it. weird is good. i like weird. i am weird. wkahkwh.

what fuck im talking. heh. anw, got more snapshots and love them! click and look!

uno!

dos!

tres!

they are too big to be put here lah. lols. click to see.

okay then. hitting the books now. toodles knoodles.

(p.s: *mmuahs! thanks for the treat, again. hehe. love you!)

2005-01-09T23:00:00.000+08:00

*grins

ears on: Melly - Kamu

i still need to complete my A Maths, Chemistry and English homework.

*grins sheepishly

*slaps self

wake up sufina! just got off the phone. i seriously need to juggle my studies properly. at least i did study Chemistry earlier today.

ouh.

i just cant stop grinning.

*mmmmuahs! loveyoulots!

2005-01-09T17:54:00.000+08:00

Craaaazy People!

ears on: Cokelat - Kita

okay, click and go see! some snapshots from the CCA Openhouse. :)

more to come! (soon)

oh yeah. thanks to emil who took these snapshots. shila, quick pass me more! i want to edit them! :) love you two girls!

2005-01-08T21:03:00.000+08:00

Three Cheers!

ears on: Cold - No One

todays CCA Openhouse was perfect, seriously. things went smoothly, and most importantly Ms Wati was pleased. lols. she has this 'high quality work' expectation out of everything so to hear her saying that things went perfectly was bloody brilliant.

but the fun part was with three craaaaazy girls that LOVES, i repeat LOVES ~~putting~~ throwing chocolate cake at me. LOLS. shila, emil and norisha. wkahwkahw. funny girls and fucking fun to be with. after the CCA Openhouse was over, the graduate ODAC members brought along this wonderlicous chocolate cake that had three fat layers of ultimate chocolate heaven with fat chocolate trimmings round it.

talk about heaven. lols.

THEN, isa (that bugger) decided to give everybody chocolate facials and bodyscrubs. literally. so we poor poor people had melting, sweet, wonderful chocolate spread on our poor poor face. ahwkahwkahw. AND THEN those three girls decided that their poor poor president (ehem! lols.) deserved a good chocolate spa treament after being so damn nice to them. so shila jumped on me and i had a chocolate hairwash. emil came along and gave me my wonderful chocolate facial plus a vanilla cream moustache plus a teeny weeny goatee. norisha decided to PUT CHOCOLATE CAKE IN MY EARS. awhakwhakhw.

talk about chocolate girl. wakwhakhw.

ran to the toilet, cleaned myself up. i was CLEAN CLEAN CLEAN. then those three girls that loved me so much decided to give me another chocolate spa treatment so the same thing happened. shila jumped, emil came to do another longer goatee and norisha stuffed my ears with cake.

oh, me? i purposely screamed my fucking arse off lah.

awhkakwhkahw. kekek sak!

after the final proper clean-up, took some snapshots in the bathroom. retarded ones as usual. wkahwkahw. t'was fucking fun. shila + emil, upload! upload! lols. what fun. would be publishing the snapshots as soon as shila and emil passes the snapshots to me. wakwhkawh. shila loves to punch. *kapish! LOLS. we are all retards. wakwhakwh.

after that had lunch with sayang. whakhwkaw. that was a different kind of fun, but still it was fun. and hilarious as usual. wkhakwh. hes another source of laughing gas lah. *mmmmuahs!

but sadly i have an overprotective but still nice brother so had to go back home fast. hrmph.

love you girls! *kapish! (an extra *kapish! to shila + emil!)

love you sayang! *mmmuahs!

2005-01-04T18:45:00.000+08:00

Always :)

ears on: Sheila On 7 - Anugerah Terindah Yang Pernah Kumiliki

its been four months and a day. :) yeah, its nice. its undescribable, what i feel. its not perfect, but it feels right. *smiles

two days since school started. yesterday was already busy with the CCA Openhouse. so was today, only difference was that today had lessons to add on to the strain. hrmph. am still thinking over if i should take combined science. i know i can cope, if i want to. but do i really want to?

anw, was painting the banners and all. sort of ruined one but was forgiven by Ms Wati. chet. first time sap! lols. but it was pretty and hilarious.

favourite lesson of the day? whakwhka. MALAY! lols. i like it there. Ms Mus was getting more and more voluptous. lols. sitting at the old seat was HILARIOUS. beside was Helmi, that dickhead. infront was Jeffery aka Natawate aka Jap. funny to the hardcore max sak. plus Rafi and Irsyad. akwhakwhakwh. we were learing something about word additions and damn it was fucking funny. i could help but laugh and laugh. lols. 'sup' or 'sub' in English, as in the subset or sub-plot. y'know? and then there was 'supra' or 'super' in English, as in superman. wkahwkaw. supramaniam! akwhakwhkahw.

jap: supra sak. satu sup, satu supra. supraman! supraman!
me: supramaniam!
rafi: kepale hotak kau! jeng jeng!
ms mus: awak tige ni eh, asyik berbuuuual aje tau.

yeah, i love Malay. :D

im lethargic and there is still religious class at eight tonight. plus homework.

fucken. welcome to secondary four, bitch.

welcome.

(p.s: *mmmuahs! lols. love you!)

2005-01-02T15:19:00.000+08:00

But This Time, I Mean It

ears on: Sheila On 7 - Pemuja Rahasia

love that song. love that band. love the vocalist. love duta. love love love tomorrow.

love him.

*grins

four months. hmm. :) one thing different is that i could finally joke around and be nonsensical around him like how i am around my superduper heroes. :) god knows how much i laughed my arse off. its cool to get a guy that is just as nutsomaniac as you are. weird, but cool.

however! yesterday and the day before was absolutely horrible. my family is just shit when it comes to shopping together. seriously. we dont get along well especially when we go altogether, the four of us. it is only (barely) okay when we go in pairs. buying a pair of school shoes caused me a fucking earful from both pa and momster, who by the way didnt went to Phuket. she was replaced. like all things, there are pros and cons of her not leaving.

if she left, no nagging. okay, so that is good. no nosy parker digging my stuff. i would have bought my school stuff in ultimate peace with darling or pavalam. but then again, i would worry like hell. hey, shes a momster but i still do love her.

so yeah, i fucking fucking hate shopping trips with my parents when it comes to buying something for myself. the common phrases would be "So expensive ah?", "You are still [put age here], dont need to get this kind of stuff!", "When i was your age..". oh, you get the idea.

i still need a haircut. okay, so maybe not cutting the whole hair. maybe ill just alter my fringe on my own. its too long for my liking. *snorts

FUCK!

i forgot to get socks. last years socks are long missing. hell.

oh well. there is always abang. :) (dont ask me why but im getting closer to him. whawkahw)

welcome to secondary four, bitch. say hello to your o levels.

2004-12-30T21:14:00.000+08:00

Welcome To Paradise

ears on: My Chemical Romance - Demolition Lovers

yesterday and today was perfect. :) was stuck to this craaazy boy for the entire day. but i savoured every single second of it. lols. *mmmuahs! in short, both days were absolutely hilarious and sweet. there was the 'karang guni man' whose honk went a tad too high pitched when he saw us. wkahwkawh. imagine the monotonous honking echoing its way towards you then suddenly sounding so retarded and squeaky the moment he saw you. wkahwkahw. i couldnt help but snort and laugh. bluek. but it was fun. :)

momster called earlier in the evening and broke the ~~fucking~~ news. she would be leaving to Phuket with 700 other civil servants. first of all, a second tsunami might prolly strike again. momster is still momster, but then again she is still my mother. i was sort of pissed but then again, those people there needs her too. i guess all i can do now is pray that she would be fine and also hope that things round the regions would get better. i was thinking of donating my clothes to the Red Cross or something. just do something, anything.

for those who are going to the Nations Countdown, Sentosa is an island. the beach that you are partying at is nearby the sea. sea, tsunami, second strike - get the idea? afterall, people around the world are mourning. why bother to celebrate? its a waste of money and time. bopping around in your bikinis and beach shorts while a child in Indonesia is weeping for her dead parents. seriously. youngsters these days. abang was telling me about the conversation he overhead in the train. it was about two (stupid) minahs talking about the nations countdown and what to wear. okay, so maybe on a normal countdown it would be okay. but they were laughing at the fact that the tsunami actually happened. bragging about how they would have skimmed or surfed the fatal waves in their new pink Roxy bikinis.

talk about stupidity.

i was watching Channel NewsAsia and saw the report on the tsunami. whoa. the damages and all. hearing the amount of deaths. the (very) sad part was realising that some people just dont understand the amount of destruction and emotional hurt that is occuring. people should listen more and talk less. look! there was the short footage of this mother cradeling her dead daughter with tears in her eyes. sounds sappy but i wanted to cry for them. if a second one were to strike Singapore, that might just happen to anyone. and STILL people dont realise that. how ignorant can someone be to not feel even a slight pang of sadness at the sight of those tears?

god, please take care of mama. i do love her you know, even if i dont show it.

lets just pray together, shall we?

2004-12-28T11:33:00.000+08:00

A Paranoid Bitch

ears on: Greenday - Welcome To Paradise

paranoid? maybe. whatever. blog hopped, came across a fellow schoolmates blog and it was fucking fucking familiar. so i viewed the source and.. aha!

sneaky bitch.

call me petty or whatever but i have this thing against people who just simply right clicks and copy somebodys layout wholesale.

fucken. i sound so.. schwapped.

that word reminds me of a drink. hmm.

back to what i was saying about orginality. hrmph.

you know what? i need sleep.

2004-12-28T10:04:00.000+08:00

Hitman, hitman!

ears on: The Temptations - My Girl

the past five days was spent at the other house. contradictingly to what id expected, it wasnt really THAT much of a bore. although, it was kind of sickening to stay at home and watch tv all day.

althought i do it all the time. heh.

preparations for the family gathering started last minute. like we always do, so no biggie. woke up at noon, took a shower and went back to bed again. WHAT A PIG! *grins. woke up around one and took another shower. i just felt like getting another hot bath. went down, ate some chocolate cookies and went outside. had nothing better to do so i washed both cars. akwhakhwakhw. seriously, i washed both cars. and then decided to wax them. car wax, not bikini wax.

it was kinda fun. the weather was warm and nice. the wind was strong, but not strong enought to snap back my head. just sent my hair swishing around. actually, i was hoping for some minor tan before school reopens. my fair skin is getting, well fairer. too bad, the four hours spent working my butt off only made my hand smooth from the wax. blekh. no tan.

went back to my room, took another shower. IM CLEAN! akwhkahw. straightened my hair and went down. the age range of people downstairs? 45 to 75. hrmph. and i was the only young (ahem!) kid there. aside abang that is. but he was too busy with CM4 to realise that. as usual, took my post the the grill. did recieve some comments about the hair. hmm. straight hair. okay, so not really that straight. it was tousled at the ends. cool. maybe id change my mind about that perm. hours passed and finally had a short break. called dear and had a few laughs. yeah, i need some of those. *mmuahs! then went back down and got back to grilling. finally it ended at midnight and called it quits. took my fourth shower of the day and ~~drooled~~ slept the night away.

next day, went shopping. stupid shit. fucking stupid shit. note to self: never ever go shopping with both parents at a time. only bring one. i was just looking for a bag and pair of shoes. no offence, but wtf! stuffs there were a few seasons behind. finally decided (without much thought) on a white leather tote bag. it was okay. saw the black Vans. hmm. wasnt really that attractive. saw the black Adidas. hmm. okay, not bad. thennnn, i saw the black-red Gravis. whoaaaa. it was RM 153. changed to Singapore buckaroos, it would be around $70-$80. okay for me since im using my own bucks.

but noooo. i have a miser for a father and a momster for a mother. so you know the story. no shoe. WTF WTF WTF. what a bloody pissoff. i loved that shoe. red interior, black exterior. wear it with white socks. hmm. reminds me of my layout. kahwkhaw. damn it was pretty. right now im scheming of a way to get that shoe. how how how.

murder my parents and get that shoe!

fucking kaphlooey shit.

because of that, Pa aint talking to me. how kaphlooey. i love that word. ironically, we were like Bonnie and Clyde two days ago (since i cleaned his cars).

they sell Gravis back here in Singapore, but how much? hmm. somebody tell!

okay then. im beat. four hours of sleep isnt enough for this kid. thanks for tagging people!

P.S: Lix, welcome back!

2004-12-23T17:32:00.000+08:00

*Kapish!

ears on: Spider - Relaku Pujuk

i love you too much to ever let you go. its okay, lets just forget about it. its over.

mmmuahs.

lets not fight again.

now, i owe you a punch! akwhakhw.

*KAPISH!

2004-12-23T14:37:00.000+08:00

Idiota!

ears on: Mxpx - My Bofriend's Back

yesterday was horribly wrong. my temperamental mood swing was wayyy at the extreme. with the addition of a throbbing headache, blimey! i was lethal.

but then, i did (barely) control the temper. oh, grow up sufina.

seriously talking, i didn't know what shit made me so bloody moody, although the previous day's occurences did add up to it. little things becoming big. fucking irritating cousins that become petty male bitches. and then, prolly the icing on my frustration would be the minor tiff i had with dear. okay, so maybe it wasn't that minor.

was it?

like i said, small things lead to big ones.

but last night's phonecall did helped. ALOT. :) sorted things out, and im human again. no long that ugly green ogre. wkahwkaw. i guess the both of us had our tempers raging.

i think i need a new punching bag. these days, the only way out to release the frustration build up is staring at the fish tank and visualise violent images. poetry used to be the way out, but right now im loss for words. not that i stopped writing poems. they are hidden somewhere at the back of my head, long abandoned.

nenek's condition has somewhat deteriorated. her talks of wearing white clothes and amputating her legs.. god. i couldn't resist the urge to break down. blood was found in the urine two days back, and now her legs are swollen with purple-ish blue bruises. no, it wasn't her falling down or whatever. it was her blood clotting up again.

god, please. stop her pain. i can't bear to see her like that.

i just can't.

p.s: will be back on Tuesday. toodles knoodles.

2004-12-22T22:30:00.000+08:00

Damn This Headache

ears on: The Used - Blue And Yellow

i think im feeling better.

or maybe, not.

fuck today.

2004-12-22T15:41:00.001+08:00

I Said Go Away, Bitch!

ears on: The Starting Line - A Million Hearts

nice song Saddiq!

last night was emotional. some things pissed me off. i think post-PMS (is there such a thing?) struck me hard. but ill elaborate somewhere else. go figure.

will be off to the other house after two months of being m.i.a there. thing is, im only half-hearted about being there. will be gone on thursday night, back on tuesday morning. i dont seem to anticipate anything anymore, for the moment at least. emo songs have been playing over and over again at the playlist. monotonous at times, heartbreaking otherwise.

the desire to weep is overwhelming. but i dont know why i want to break down.

fuck that.

fuck this emotional phase i go throught once in a while.

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

im to pissed at absolute nothing to write here.

nothing seems to be calming me down.

i feel like a bitch.

2004-12-21T23:59:00.000+08:00

Hello Moto!

ears on: Jason Ling - Singapore Girls

hello moto! moto moto!

ahkHAkAHkAHa.

i love it when sayang says that. kahKAHkhAkHa.

kekek sak.

anw, Abang has been nice. and i guess its okay. its kinda nice to get along with your only sibling after two years of being ignorant. one more thing. he found out about Zul. kAHkHAkAH. and i found out about his Aishah. so its a truce. no bitching on each other. khKAHKAH. chett. no wonder he is seen less at home and nicer to me. so yeah, traded the cellphones again and now i have access to his Starhub line. cool! free incoming calls, here i come!

but all good things must come to an end, right?

choyyyyy.

i was lazing around on the carpet, lying down beside the halls window. well, as usual thoughts came to mind. the one that hit me the most was that next year would me my final year in MSL. yeah, everybody bitches about their school but the thing that keeps them there would be the memoirs and friends formed. i was thinking about the first time i went to MSL. it was the first week after the June holidays, on a Thursday. akhKAHkAH. yeah, i dig details. my entry there was about six months later then the others but the people in my maiden class, 1M2, made me feel at home.

a year passed and then i was in 2M2. my beloved class. oh those people inside. the deaf- Hafiz. the weird- Shah. the giant- Ravi. the dwarf- Syed. the handsome boy- Chia Wei. my so-called cousin, Helmi. aKAHkAH. fatin and pavalam, the best girlfriends ever. plus helmi, that dickhead. akhkHAkA.

my three best sidekicks. :)

yeah, i love them. fatin with her gravity-defying hairstyle people use as a mastercopy. pavalam with her bubblegum sarcasm. yeah, i love it. especially when she gives me that look when i give her that look. wakwakwak. helmi? oh that bugger of an arse. aKhKAHa. nolah, hes like this big brother that is always there. his usual "Fuck yous" scribbled on my books just to get my attention. aKKAHkHA. damn i love my three musketeers.

and in 2005, we are going to look back at 2M2'03 and say, that was us two years ago. after that? god knows what will be waiting for us. helmi. bahaha. my big brother, my superman. HAHAHAHA. i still remember that sick event he had. helmi, would he grow taller and would his hair get more curlier? would his twisted mind get more twisted? AkAHkHA.

fatin, fatin. my wondergirl. the one who was there. our chocolate waffles bought from that bakery. how many a buck ten did we spend? bahaha. how many times she would place her palm on her waist and say, "Haiyah, i dont know what to say lah!" and give me that look. her "Mama mama malcolm number one!" song. aAkHAkhAKhA.

pavalam, that voluptous lady with a sexy arse. bahaha. for the whole of 2004, i endured the endless tortures of A Maths and Physics classes with her beside. sleeping on her shoulder the moment Mr Tan Kee Beng enters class. always checking my butt if there is a red stain when that time comes. digging thru my stuff to find my wallet since i always misplace it. AHkaHkAHkAH. the look that she gives me when she finds it at my pocket. singing our rendition of "Don't Cry For Me Argentina". HAHAHA. i love that.

oh how id miss them when the time comes for us to move on.

the good thing is, i memorised their phone numbers by heart. kahKHAkha.

maybe Marsiling Secondary isnt that bad.

okay i take that back. the school sucks. i fucking hate the uniform. i feel like a five year old girl in her playschool uniform.

but i love the people there.

(minus Miss Chow, the unmarried bitch!)

2004-12-21T14:18:00.000+08:00

Don't Let Go

ears on: Lillix - 24/7

the cough syrup is freaking strong dammit. two spoonfuls and im already woozy. but that is the least of my frustrations.

i just feel like biting someones head off.

im getting more and more irritated by the fact that those two cousins of mine are terrorising every part of this house. yeah, i do love them to bits but when they start to dig thru my drawers and all. damn, that is too fucking much. i hate it when people go through my stuff without my permission. frustraition is on an all time high, even higher when i get frustrated with my brother - who, for once, is okay for the moment.

their endless bickering with their mother and maid, endless wheezing and wailing to get whatever they want. goddammit. if they were my own siblings, a red red mark the size of my palm on their cheeks would be their trademark. violence isnt really my way but daaaaamn. their petty-ness is like so fucking too much. wasting food, leaving half-eaten chocolate bars on the white sofa and whimpering at the slightest thing that irks them. for fucks sake.

for the record, the mother doesnt do anything about it.

the bread that they eat has to be crust-less. no onions on their rice, no vegetables, no meat, no fish. unless of course, its the good-old western delicacies. screaming like fucked up bitches and showing their fucked up tantrums by kicking the cushions and threatening to throw the remote control out of the window. raising their voices just to get attention. stomping their feet and yelling just to get what they want.

WHAT THE FUCK!

they so deserve a tight slap across that bitchy face.

but i still do love them, thats for sure. until they stop that, the will remain as bitches.

what a bitchy entry.

2004-12-20T16:09:00.000+08:00

Take Me Away From Here

ears on: Def Gab C - Merah

*grins

*grins

*grins

todays trip to school was an utter disgrace. akKAhkAHkAH. okay not completely but to come to school a find out that the last piece of the schools ugly blouse is sold out is hilarious. and that was my fourth trip to school. knn. oh well. minus that, things were perfect. *grins, again.

oh one more, minus the slight swelling at my right eye. lethargic has finally caught up to the eye and now it looks kind of like a tomato, with a pupil and an iris. hrmph. the cough syrup is making me drowsy. fell asleep on the way to school and on the way back home. oh, but there was a nice shoulder to sleep on. bahaha.

yesterday was downright exhausting. working as a kendarat brought back old memories of a kid walking around the void deck in a baju kurong and heels with a rattan basket full of goodies. and now that im fifteen, the work gets tougher. you need to serve the food as well, with those huge delivery plates. alah, the dulang lah. clear the wedding tables and balancing the plates in both hands.

all that while wearing this kebaya i bought two years ago and heels. i so feel tortured. wakawaka. im used to the t-shirt and shorts with flipflips lah. so formality for me sees a million light years away.

note to self: for own wedding, make a hotel reservation!

chetttt. wonder whose going to be the groom.

tuition starts at 5.30pm. my fat arse is stuck to the chair. my head is having smoky visualiations of my bed. my head is screaming "GO AND SLEEEEEP!".

hmmm.

okay stop. im getting ready now.

yeah right sufina.

toodles knoodles! hello maths textbook (you bitch!).

yeah right sufina.

mmmuahs sayang. go stuff your mouth with endless McDees happy meals. bluek.

2004-12-18T13:11:00.000+08:00

Mungkin Saja Kau Bukan Yang Dulu Lagi

ears on: My Chemical Romance - I'm Not Okay, I Promise

the fever has ceased. yeehawwww! wakaka. it feels nice to be able to wake up at noon without any pounding sensation against this thick skull of mine. buahaha. but still, the sore throat is so freaking sore! i was forced to gulp down this ugly black-brown-yellow concoction that my aunt made. it tasted like.. tar? bluek. it was horrible. tasted oh so sour and so disgusting.

on the contrary however, it helped. hehe.

anw, the new maid is coming today. hmmm. by then i would have half of the room to myself. im sharing it with nenek. sweet! :) lets just hope she wouldnt nag at me when i get ready for school. wakaka. only god knows what i have done in my room while getting ready for school. *grins*

i so need a haircut. hrmph. i like the curls and all, but it needs something new to add to the oomph. haiyah. i want a new hairstyle.

hmmm. for once, im speechless. nothing much occured to day aside talking to my hilarious brother-in-law. yeah, twas funny.

no joke, no fun! no pork, no lard! no babi, no babat!

kahkAHkHAkAHkHA.

its nice to know his family welcomes you. :)

mmmuahs! you stubborn boy. bluek. we'll make it thru, cause you love me and i love you.

2004-12-17T19:31:00.000+08:00

Your Sweet Sweet Lips

ears on: Beach Boys - Wouldn't It Be Nice

the fever is getting worse. my parched throat feels like the Gobi Desert. my achy head has been dillusional, and its weight equals to Barney in a gunnysack. sudden coughs send my body in such retarded jerky movements that a single twitch hurts.

murder this headache and pass that syrup!

the Physics project is still at its second page, and there is only two weeks until i return to mundane school life. how sweet. i still need to mug for my triple science examinations which will be held on the first week of school. twang. i hate tests. who doesnt, right?

here are the things that i need to do ASAP:

English: Write up on a novel.

Additional Mathematics: All the Paper 1 & 2 in the TYS.

Biology: Something about the TYS and prepare for the exam.

Chemistry: Prepare for the exam.

Physics: Project, which includes a detailed 20-paged write-up and working models, and prepare for the exam.

Geography: Find a show and get it relation with Geography, in a business-minded way.

Social Studies: I have a vague memory on it. Oh well.

all that, in two weeks. somebody save me. there is a monster in my head, pounding aginst my skull. throbbing, how it hurts. my heart palpitates, the rate equivalent to the speed of a bullet train.

p.s: abang has a new telly and a new dvd player in his room to add along with his laptop. me? i dont even have a real room. fuck life.

i so hate pms when it comes along. hrrrrrmph.

damn i miss you so much sayang. mmmuahs.

2004-12-16T21:40:00.000+08:00

And I Said, I Do

ears on: nothing.

oh how much i missed this baby of mine. :)

so many things happened. life has been bittersweet. momster and pa as per normal, with a sucky brother in tow. but im dealing with it. all it takes is ignorance and apathy, right? right.

grannys staying at my house now, for good. her smiling face is everything i could want from her. but sometimes, that crease across her forehead drives me nuts. oh, those family feuds. i hate you jackasses, and the problems you bring along behind those fat arses of yours. fuck off.

im attached to an unbelievably wacko boy who drives me nuts with his hilarious sarcasm. too bad he found a match. yep, id batter him to death with stings of my own. mahaha. another source for laughing gas, aside my sidekicks. always always there for the past three months. coming to four soon. muchos gracias to Haziq whose advice helped. my secret wish? strangle him with my bare hands, although its usually him who gets to do that. somethings i really do hate being petite. bluek. it helps to know that he is kind of like that male version of myself, only more crazy. three words from him to make me laugh? sunblock SPF 30, cash register and barbie dolls.

love you! remind me again why id laugh at cash registers next monday.

but aside that, life has been a bore without Fatin aka wondergirl.

another wish?

school to reopen. it sounds more like a deathwish, i think. with the o levels coming next year and being sixteen. hmmm. i can handle that.

yeah right sufina, yeah right.

oh well. ill update whenever i can. thanks to those who tagged! you people made my day. Lix, horsepiss! Eerah and SNZ, im back! Fz and Rohai, i miss you girls! MS and Yun Xian, hullos! see you girl next year okay! sit somewhere near so that when you throw over that candybar, i can catch it. :) Anas! its been so long. ill pass that CD asap okay. miss yaya soleha! oh wow. lots to tell. Danial! im back now. haha. talk to you soon kays. Diyana! haha. laughed at those pictures. you girls are so sweet!

and to all, missed you guys! :)

and sayang, love you! i owe you one hell of a knuckle sandwich. mahaha.

2004-11-11T18:24:00.000+08:00

Seribu Tanya Sesak Di Dada

ears on: Cokelat - Jauh

the song on air is the song im emoing to. anw, the modem has been kidnapped by dad because of momster. ah fucken. i dont care. but that means that wont be the regular updates.

been cleaning the house on a overtime basis. finally all is polished, oh so shiny! :) a whopping 10 extra-large black trash bags were needed to discard all of the junk. most of the junk of course came from the studyroom.

hell did i find weird, and i mean WEIRD, stuff in the study. weird, as in freaky freaky weird relations with the spirit thingamagics kind of weird. even thinking of whatever i saw sends shivers down my spine. lets just skip about that.

discovered old snapshots of momster and family, and papa and family. i know it sounds kinda unappropriate to say this but i think papa was hot, last time.

*straight face*

khAhAkhAKhkAHkA. ill scan the snapshot one day and you judge. he was into that seventies bell-bottoms and unbuttoned shirts kinda look.

nenek has improved tremedously and yeah, shes transferring to this Ang Mo Kio hospital where they specialise in stroke recovery or something. :) todays visit did make me smile.

i love you nenek! muah muah muahhh! :)

talk about weird, someone from the recent past popped back into my life yesterday.

TALK ABOUT ~~fucking~~ BAD TIMING!

but yeah, im sticking with what i feel is right. the distance and time spent away from that someone did clear my mind.

right?

cross that thought out.

anyway, life at home has gone from bad to worse. unjust from my parents caused me to breakdown uncontrollably. hot tears filled my eyes as words were hurled directly towards me, with a fucktard grinning behind my back. in case you didnt know, that fucktard is my brother. i so totally do not know what my parents see in him. he treats the house as a hotel, leaves his trash as though they were hundred dollar bills from Donald Trump and raises his voice to me like how those tone-deaf apeks in kareoke rooms do. seriously.

dearest jackass of a brother, stop being an ass kisser. stop being so plastic. stop being that nice mummy's boy. stop being pretentious. hypocritical!

i cant believe momster told me to stop schooling. i cant believe she sceamed that out loud. i cant believe papa agrees with whatever she says, no matter how irrelevent it is. i cant believe im in such a family.

what, stop school and crush all of my dreams of becoming a haemotologist? FYI, i love school. weird, i know. but i do. i dig biology to the core, especially the practicals. i cant wait to disect my first frog. i cant wait to do blood tests. i cant wait to work in a hospital.

if momster were to stop my education, id run away from home. period.

btw, i cant seem to reply the tags, so here goes:

shila: yeah, Cokelat is good. anw, i'll try! :) address maneeee!

snz: hAkhKAhkAHha. yellow is lucky. go enjoy with your wan! :P anw, shr to you too! muahhh!

yaya: aku try okay! hehe. nenek hospital, susah siket uh.

lix: haha. long liao! anw, hi to user 63074! miss? tag more, tag more! hehe.

2004-11-08T10:39:00.000+08:00

That Killer Black Dress!

ears on: Muse - Can't Take My Eyes Of You

mission accomplished! yeehaw! :)

finally finally finally that so called "bilek anak dara" is fucking clean. bahaha. i love it. its all yellow and red. :D note to self, always go shopping when momster is in a good mood. bahaha. that is where i get the stuff.

now all i need to do is to change the bedsheets and fold the laundyyyyy! yeahhh bebeh. love love love the sidetables. kahkhakah. the "alas meja" is yellow. i have a sudden fetish for the colour yellow. new bedsheets are in yellow and red! AkAHKHAkHA. love yellow. hmm.. what if i repaint my room yellow? okay cross that idea out. the walls are already a lighter shade of yellow. headboard has some yellow in it. the door is also cream.

yellow-ism has taken over me! i so love yellow.

abang has been more of an irritant these past few days. wish he would just go to NS NOW! go lah go. stop being that childish ass kisser. damn did he pissed me off yesterday, and every other day.

i just love yellow.

:)

2004-11-06T20:09:00.000+08:00

His Sunken Balloon

ears on: The New Radicals - Mother, We Just Can't Get Enough

the trip back from the hospital was dreadful. the intense afternoon heat was killing me. my parched throat was dry, freaking dry. my lips were chapped, smiling would crack them. talking was horrible. i could only mumble, even that was sucky. adding to that was the packed mrt carriages, with people yakking their lungs out. what, havent heard of simple courtesy? hrmph. there was this chinese lady with absolutely nothing in her hands, except her tiny purse. she just barged into the mrt and elbowed her way to a seat. i was screaming "WTF WTF WTF!", in my heart that is. kiasu-ism at its best.

meeting nenek today was hilarious and just plain sad. as usual, nenek was in her frumpy mood. complaining of the hot hot weather and the nurse that would pinch her cheeks everytime she complained. same old, same old. fed her the diluted porridge and some green and pinky-orange substance that smelt like.. dog food. bluek. never have i seen such vomit-prone food. at least the dessert was more edible. it was this small container that had strawberry ice cream with minute chopped strawberry that smelt like heaven during this fasting month. :) and typical of nenek, she would refuse to do her exercises. maybe thats where i get my stubborn streak.

as usual, nenek would ask the same questions about school and stuff. but suddenly! she started to talk about me getting married and getting myself attached.

whaaaaaat?!

yeah, she asked when will i get married. so i told her, im only fifteen, not twenty five. that done, she asked if i was attached. bahaha.

"sufi, sufi dah ade matair eh? ape name yg budak sekarang panggil, boypren? boypren eh?"

emphasis on the PREN. bahaha. if i was drinking water, that water would have given nenek a facial wash. means i would have spit it out lah. chett.

i just laughed it off and changed the subject to the food she was eating.

whoa, nenek is good. i mean, she does that all the time. she knows what goes on in my life, without me telling her. thats one thing why i confide in her. she just knows. i love you nenek! muah muah muahhhhh! :)

fell asleep on her bed for an hour or so. the mildly warm weather was cozy, with the afternoon breeze coming in. felt like old times when i would sleep with nenek.

anw, the doctor told me that nenek wouldnt be back on time for Hari Raya. oh well. i dont even have the mood to celebrate. my chocolate fudge cookies with extra chocolate toppings are still undone, the ingredients are still somewhere in some supermarket. but i guess shopping for the shoes and clothes for Hari Raya was enjoyable. i love my three pair of shoes. bahaha. early shopping gives me great discounts. yep, your local singaporean cheapo.

my room is still in a mess. only the bookcase is clean, with a fifth of it filled with books. thank god momster is at the other house or else her naggings would have sent me packing to mars.

speaking of mars, mars volta is good. wooshah. wondergirl gives great influences.

toodles! i need to clean the room, NOW NOW NOW!

yeah right sufina.

2004-11-04T16:58:00.000+08:00

I Love You The Most

ears on: Siti Nurhaliza - Airmata Syawal

its been like four weeks since nenek was hospitalised at Tan Tock Seng. and its ten days to Hari Raya Aidilfitri. damn do i miss her. :(

been visiting her almost everyday. i guess she is improving. her stroke isnt that bad, and she can talk now. although her medulla oblongata, or her hind brain, is still affected. sometimes, she forget who i am. her speech is rather slurred, but i guess that is better than not able to talk.

two days ago, she told me she saw her mother, which is of course my great grandmother. she saw her standing infront, just standing. when i told her that Mak Siti, my great grandmother, was already gone a long time ago, she wouldnt want to believe. kept on persisting, saying that Mak Siti was there. momster told her that Mak Siti had passed away a long time ago, even before i was born. before momster got married. nenek started to cry softly, and well i did too.

im not being superstitious or whatever, but ive been getting weird dreams and hearing nenek talk like that.. *slaps myself*

there is this old saying, that if you were to dream that one of your teeth was to fall out, someone in your family member would pass away. well, i had that dream. and so did abang. Tuesdays visit was heart wrenching. nenek didnt want to let go of my hand, and she kept on staring in my eyes. i couldnt help but cry.

ten days to Hari Raya. i dont feel like celebrating at all. usually nenek would be baking her cookies and i would be right beside annoying her by adding extra ingredients and singing loudly. oh, she would just go pinch my nose and threaten to tell my parents about whatever i told her. i miss having her protecting me whenever momster complains. she would always side me, even when we both know im wrong. typical of nenek. :)

to all, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri. oh! today is the mark of the last ten days of Ramadhan. dont forget to do your Terawih. you do know what is Lai'latul Kadr, right?

anw, the song on air is his mothers favourite song. on the way home just now, he told me to go to the hospital along with he and his mother too. whoa, she wants to know me more. did i made a good impression? bahaha.

i miss you alot. nenek, come home soon. please come home for Hari Raya. i dont feel like baking anything without you by my side. please, God, please.

2004-11-03T21:22:00.000+08:00

Smother me with

ears on: Muse - Time Is Running Out

whoa, nice song. very sexy. kan Lix kan? bahaha.

:)

im just happy that his mother is back from the hospital. visited her that day and had a short conversation. he had his mothers eyes. and i guess his mothers face too. told her about my grandmother, who was just a level below hers. there were two blood tubes coming out from each of her hand, waste blood.

but she was nice and sweet. kept on asking about nenek and all. :)

spending the entire Friday with nenek and him. and i cant wait.

2004-11-03T17:43:00.000+08:00

Closer Than Before

ears on: Project Pop - Bau Bau Bau

i cant wait for Friday. im smiling since Monday. Tuesday night was sweet.

im walking on air, and no one can stop me.

anw, ill update when i have time, im making cooookiiiieeeesssss!

2004-11-01T17:50:00.000+08:00

Your Hundredth Kiss

ears on: Peter Pan - Ada Apa Denganmu?

today was nice.

school was abnormal, for once. the two hour break was spent talking with Hidayah, then after she left i was sitting alone. cool. i like sitting alone. then sat with him. :) nice.

after the four hour Biology marathon, went to Kim Keat Road's NKF building. second time there, and nope. i wasnt lost like the first time. bahaha. the things i saw there really opened my eyes, you know. looking the the pained look in the patients eyes.. whoa~ the blood travelling from their bruised arm to the dialysis machine and back to their arm again, for a whole three to five hours, three times a week for the rest of their lives until they get a transplant.

"ouch" doesnt even come close.

but it was kinda cool, looking at how they made the R.O water, or reverse osmosis water. how they checked the purity of the R.O water and all. but still, i dont get that chapter well. i still got two months of school away from school. mugging!

prayed hard that his mother would turn out okay after the four-hour operation in the theater. found out that his mothers ward was right above Neneks. bahaha. now i cant wait to see Nenek even more. and i cant wait for Fridays trip to visit his mother. :) wondering who is the "he"?

hes my twin. <3

bahaha. im so tired. shits. had only two hours of sleep last night, which was of course the interval for late night phonecalls. :) i need rest!

its six. time to prepare food for buka!

oh btw, if you didnt realise yet..

NEXT SUNDAY IS HARI RAYA! yes, yes! 14 November 2004, Hari Raya!

i know, i cant believe it! so fast! oh btw, this Thursday is the last ten days of the fasting month. so, go for the terawih! Lai'Latul Kadr, you know.

oh, im hungry. toodles!

2004-11-01T01:43:00.000+08:00

MISS YOU, MISS YOU, MISS YOU!

ears on: Melly Goeslaw - Bercintalah Denganku

the computer is fucked up all over again after two days of leaving it alone and im to blame. i have such a fucked up brother. hrmph.

the family as usual was sadistic and retarded. always fighting, always nagging. thank god i wasnt the only bull's eye for momster. oh, and thank god for momster being "human" during the ten-hour long shopping trip. woo fucking hoo. bought another pair of shoes, those pointy ones with kitten heels. mmmuahhhh! bahaha. its made up of this black felt with silver linings. i looooove it. only boo boo is that it might get dirty since the beloved owner is me. fat hope. so that means i have.. three pair of shoes for Hari Raya. whoaaa. plus last years pumps, four.

my conclusions are: 1) always always make momster happy two days before any major shopping trip and she will always always let you get what you want, if you say please. 2) dont make her irritated because irritation leads to her being NASTY which equates to lesser things bought.

heeee. mastermind ah eh! bluek.

update later when i have more to think about, aside shoes. :) its already 2am.

SAHUR, SAHUR!

and to my beloved grandmother, i love so. come back home soon. <333

2004-10-29T13:27:00.000+08:00

Dangdut Is The Music Of My Country

ears on: Project Pop - Dangdut Is The Music Of My Country

this song cracks me up. but then again, if you push aside the nonsensical humour youd get something more meaningful. its about racial harmony, you know. kinda cool. hmmm. should be a national song or something since its so catchy.

whoops. the phone is ringing! bluekkkk.

:) the "doughtnut and ice jelly" man called. <3 and he wanted to buy me that chocolate doughnut ive been craving for. aww~

WATCH EIFFEL IM IN LOVE!

went to Elisa Taufik's Blog and well, this was what she said about the movie:

"Yesterday I went to watch a movie caled "Eiffel.. I'm in love". It was quite good. I went with 2 of my friends who are mommies too. The other audiences were young folks and couples. Only the three of us were 'aunties'. The storyline was pretty predictable.. It was a love story afterall.. There are so many love stories. However, the delivery was done well. The script was simple, real and very entertaining, the actors were natural. The three of us were laughing our asses off thruout the movie. It was really funny! Adit (Samuel Rizal) looks a bit like Kaer from Akademi Fantasia 2, so I don't think he was that good looking, but he has an attractive personality. Tita (Shandy Aulia) was very pretty, even though her character was a bit spoilt at times and bored me. However there were times when we could hear her thoughts and it was really funny.

The main characters of this film satisfied me because I thought they were real and not too 'perfect' and what's the word (deliberate?).. as if in a fairytale. I also just got to know that this movie was based on the author (Rachmania Arunita) of the novel's teenage years! I think she must be very cool for being able to write a story like this. My friend wants to look for the VCD of this movie. She wants to watch it everyday! Haha.

The only bone I want to pick is: Why are the characters potrayed as such rich folks? So rich that they can afford to travel to Paris and go shopping and all. At that point, the story became too pretentious. It's bad enough he covered her bedroom with white roses.. Then they had to go shopping for clothes then dinner at a posh restaurant? If Tita had not insisted that they go somewhere less formal, I think I would have puked.

The 'non-cliche' ending actually saved me from hurling my popcorn out. All in all though, I thought it was quite a good movie to watch with friends. All three of us had fun! I so wanna look for its soundtrack!"

HERE ARE SOME SNAPSHOTS:

the phone is ringing again! bluekkk.

oh before i forget, todays busride to the interchange was weird, in a.. friendly way i guess. oh well.

lethargy is catching up!

2004-10-29T13:07:00.000+08:00

And I Miss You So!

ears on: Ada Band - Jadikan Aku Raja

today, i was sad, angry, delirious, and <3.

to a trio who gave me such a sickening name, i have nothing to say. dont blame me for ignoring you for tomorrow onwards. and please, dont use this line on me.

"oh, dont take it too seriously!"

i take it seriously, especially when it comes to the word "dog". oh btw, didnt you know my sexuality? so by calling me "dog", its the same as calling me bitch. go figure why. call me touchy or what, but people are sensitive towards somethings. name calling IS for me.

my heart paltipates. :) i just cant help it. and i cant wait for next Friday. lets hope it would be a third.

tonight i shall sleep with a smile on my face.

and only God knows why.

nights then. :)

2004-10-27T20:45:00.000+08:00

That Was Then, This Is Now.

ears on: Peterpan - Ada Apa Denganmu?

im so in love with Peterpan, as in Peterpan the band. not Peterpan the actor, Peterpan the character or anybody who has the word Peterpan somewhere chucked alongside their lives.

and yeah, <3. :) cant wait for Monday to come. if it were to happen, then it would be the third. last nights dream was heavenly. but dreams and wishes dont always come true, right? but one thing is for sure, id smile at the thought of him.

which is why im grinning right now. he makes me laugh, thats what i dig in a guy. and he listens. yeah, its easy to open up. hes like the kind of friend you can just pour out everything. i like bickering with him. :P it makes me laugh.

another plus? my cousins love him too. bluekkk.

but im just, afraid. thats all.

oh, he understands why.

THATS ANOTHER REASON!

my stomach gets all queasy (in a nice way?) when i think about this. then when momster comes to mind..

you get what i mean. id hate to see momster scream her head off about BGRs. dont want to lose Pas trust, AGAIN.

but you know, there is something different. simply said, hes my twin. common habits like having Coco Crunch for "sahur" and goes nuts for no good reason. yeah, he drives me crazy with his crap. and he would go nutso over my crap. bluek.

i cant stop smiling.

and i cant stop wondering about Tin. you okay girl? whatever it is, im here. :)

2004-10-27T09:00:00.000+08:00

HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU!

ears on: Melly Goeslaw - Bercintalah Denganku

before you read, its going to be a long entry. i need to vent off my anger.

sometimes i feel that i was adopted. fightings with my mother, father and brother everyday is on of the few reasons why i feel that way. take this morning for an example:-

Scene 1: At the hall.

Mama fucken screeched at me while i was sleeping, asking where the fuck is her tudung. ranting on how i always used her stuff and then she would never see in again. talk about exaggurating. that fucken tudung was on my bed, as USUAL. took it out and ironed for her while she nags, as usual also. what made me go fucken nuts was that she used this fucken line,

"Baru secondary three dah nak melawa.. [BlaBlaBla]"

wtf. you have been using that same line every time you nag, since i was out of your womb dammit. the only difference is my standard in education. pffftttt. oh, the main point of her nagging was that the tudung was new and that all i wanted to do is dress up just for tuition.

yeah, and her naggings were on the same basis like that time when i wanted to borrow her watch. she went,

"Baru secondary three dah nak melawa.. [BlaBlaBla]"

im so used to that line that i dont give a fuck. but what made my head scream "I HATE YOU!" was because of this,

"I knew it was you. It was always you, anyway."

i hate you.

Scene 2: At the door.

Papa was searching for the laptops mouse. i knew where it was because i SAW it at the studyroom. so i just told them, Papa and the jackass aka my brother, that i saw it at the studyroom. the end? end of story? if you said yes, you dont know me that well. i went to the studyroom to take the mouse. i had a jackass tagging along, btw. on the way there i just said,

"You all put the mouse at the studyroom lah. I saw it yesterday."

and the jackass replied,

"Who use sak!"

and i said,

"Who holds the laptop, you tell me ah!"

and the jackass replied,

"Who else lah!" --> his tone implies that it was fucking me, thus i was pissed.

and i said,

"Nie! Sape yang pakai, dier letak pat studyroom. I never use you laptop so dont say its me!"

and the father of the jackass replied,

"Sufi, its always you lah. Respect your brother lah."

and i said,

"WTF YOU CIBAI! KNN SATU FAMILY MCM KENTOT!"

actually no.

and i said,

"Pa, i never use the laptop at all kan. Its abang yang pakai."

and Abang squealed,

"Eh, you better watch your mouth ah. Dah lah perempuan!"

oh, Mama watched the whole drama and just kept quiet. talk about being mother of the year.

one more thing occured but i dont think i would be putting it here since it would be too long. summarising it would just mean that my mother hates me, and my dad would kiss my mothers ass for anything, even if it means turning against his daughter. my brother? oh, he is my mothers favourite child and would get things his way, even if he has to stomp his feet on the ground or something similar to that.

i know it might sound hilarious for some, having a family that is so hectic. well you know, i just cried.

frustrations of being the one always getting shoot at with hurtful words. where was the mother i once knew? the father that would tickle me everynight before i go to sleep? where was the brother that i wished i had? somehow i dont think i have a proper family. its so broken. you might say my parents scold me because they care. you know, i have to disagree with that when it comes to my family. the words that they use are so painful. i dont think the words they use should be used. calling your daughter "prostitute" or "stupid" is wrong. thank God in replacement of a broken family i have another family, which is my beloved sidekicks, Fatin, Pavalam, Helmi and of course my dear best friend Hidayah.

but you know, sometimes i wished i had someone to talk to at home. i dont hate my parents, i just wished that they would understand me more. listen to me instead of putting words in my mouth. seeing myself as my own, not as a replica of themselves when they were young. im not, im my own person.

if wishes do come true, i wished they would know how i felt.

talking to them is not an option, trust me. it would just make things worse. its a "been there, done that" thing.

oh, i so feel like running away.

2004-10-27T08:56:00.000+08:00

When Its Time To Say Goodbye..

ears on: Peterpan - Semua Tentang Kita

dedicate this song to Fatin and BamBam. <3 love you both.

Peterpan - Semua Tentang Kita

waktu terasa semakin berlalu
tinggalkan cerita tentang kita

akan tiada lagi kini tawamu
tuk hapuskan semua sepi di hati

teringat di saat kita tertawa bersama
ceritakan semua tentang kita

ada cerita tentang aku dan dia
dan kita bersama saat dulu kala

ada cerita tentang masa yang indah
saat kita berduka saat kita tertawacry. :)

oh and Tin, im always here no matter what. girlfriends till dead. :)

2004-10-26T21:42:00.000+08:00

When You Have To Say Goodbye..

ears on: Peterpan - Semua Tentang Kita

dedicate this song to Fatin and BamBam. <3 love you both.

Peterpan - Semua Tentang Kita

waktu terasa semakin berlalu
tinggalkan cerita tentang kita

akan tiada lagi kini tawamu
tuk hapuskan semua sepi di hati

teringat di saat kita tertawa bersama
ceritakan semua tentang kita

ada cerita tentang aku dan dia
dan kita bersama saat dulu kala

ada cerita tentang masa yang indah
saat kita berduka saat kita tertawa

oh and Tin, im always here no matter what. girlfriends till dead. its okay to cry. :)

2004-10-26T13:38:00.000+08:00

Bilang Saja Bila Kau Mahu!

ears on: Jikusik - Tak Pantas Untukmu

10pm to 1am.

*GRINS*

anw, ive been receiving all those rockin' indonesian songs that i so fucking love. yeehaw! like i said, i dig indonesian songs. bahamaha. and i dig indonesian bands! so yeah, that is another reason for me to grin. bluekkkk. oh, the phone rings!

whoaaaa~

oh, add one more.

10am to 1pm.

*GRINS*

update later then. im smiling way too big.

and to a fucking jackass who called me a dog, fuck off. i fucking hate you, hardcore.

2004-10-25T16:34:00.000+08:00

FATIN DON'T!

ears on: Yusri & Erra Fazira - Ucapkanlah

i dont know why but i just feel like grinning.

last nights phonecall at the stroke of midnight was wayyy.. sweet. :D

but then i went back to reality when i saw my fugly results. WTF! only four passes. dammit.

dammit dammit dammit!

surprise surprise, ~~jackass of the class~~ Pravin had six A1 and two A2.

the major disappointment was that i had only one A1, which was for Elementary Maths. whoaaa. that was a huge surprise. F9 to A1. now that is what i call magic. chettt. sadly, no As' for English. WTF! had a bloody B3. sheesh. all because of my composition that was over the limit. knn. oh well. the other A was an A2 from Malay. the rest were Bs' and E's.

kuang kuang kuang!

had a long talk with Miss Jane. so yeah, she felt that i was distracted for most of the year. was i? whoaaa. i guess so. this is why i am putting a slash across BGRs'. right Tin!

if Fatin were to read this, she would go, "Yeah right, Sufina!" and then give me that grin cum stare.

oh well. i feel so tied up with lots of things.

lethargy is setting in again. oh btw, the snapshot is just a snapshot.

but what Miss Jane said was true. i can do it, if i put all 110% in it. and that is what i want to do. what i have to do. what i MUST do next year.

hello Yishun JC! im coming soon.

dream on Sufina? bahamaha. dont burst my bubble, yaw.

2004-10-24T14:59:00.000+08:00

The Fear Of <3

ears on: Ruffedge - Bila Rindu

i love this song. he loves this song.

dammit. i need to get out of this thing. get out get out get out!

but i dont think there is any way out.

2004-10-24T14:02:00.000+08:00

When I Miss You

ears on: Ruffedge - Bila Rindu

this is the lyrics to the above given song. enjoy.

Di keheningan malam
Termenung ku berseorang
Tak lena mata dipejam
Terdengar suara terngiang
Suara merdu yang disayang
Bagai kau didepan mata
Ku capai tapi tak kena
Sukarnya memendam rasa
Ingin ku luahkan kata

Bila rindu
Terkenang mu sayang terasa sayu
Syahdunya jiwa ku bila malam makin kelam
Jauh terbang diri ku melayang

Aku rindu
Sentuhan mu, ku rasa sayu
Inginkan jiwa mu selubungi jiwa ini
Bawa ku dalam pelangi
Melepasi batas diri ini.

Jauh angan ku lena
Ku rasa kita bersama
Kau bawa daku ke sana
Ke alam kisah yang lama
Kenangan di dalam jiwa
Bila tersedar semula
Disisiku kau tiada
Sukarnya ku pendam rasa
Inginku luahkan semua

Sesungguhnya kita mestilah
Wujudkan sefahaman dan hormat menghormati
Ikhlas kasih
Sabar insyAllah kita akan
Bertemu semula

Aura yang memecah semesta
Menyampaikan pesan kesunyian dikala sendirian
Kesepian menyelubungi hari-hariku
Disajikan dalam doa-doa rindu
Yang menanti kau datang dan pergi
Seperti mimpi-mimpiku fantasiku
Bukan dongeng lagi yang sayup kedengaran
Disisi cuping di setiap corong
Lorong yang lohong
Benar ku tak bohong
Bila hati menyanyi

2004-10-23T20:30:00.000+08:00

A Day Away From You

ears on: Taking Back Sunday - Cute Without The 'E'

nice song, Lix! :)

just got off the phone of the umpteenth time this week. and im smiling for the umpteenth time today.

*grins*

what deep shit am i getting myself into!?

dont be immersed in this confusing whirlpool, Sufina! get away before you get sucked right into it. get out, get out! before its too late.

but damn it feels so fucking good.

is it too late already?

i think.. yes?

fuck i cant think. only smile.

2004-10-23T11:14:00.000+08:00

You Made Me Smile, Again And Again.

ears on: Avenged Sevenfold - Warmness Of The Soul

life has been pretty weird for the past few days. last night was.. sweet. bamahaha. the song is kinda nice, you know? :) oh well.

baby sitting has gone to an extreme high these past few days. took care of two toyols that sent my head reeling. pfftt. "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen" has been playing over and over and over again for the fifth time. sheesh. and now the song Don't Move On is stuckkkk in my head. well, its a nice song. the bad part is that i cant seem to find it on Kazaa. to anybody that reads this, if you get that song please pass it to me! bamahaha. im in love with that song. supposedly sung by SidArthur. oh well.

back again. life is weird, not only for the past few days. its been weeks. metaphorically, things have been so haywire and nutso it reminds me of a washing machine doing its thang. things have been getting pretty serious and well all i can say is that the thing that comes to mind is just fear. of everything, the future and all. i dont know.. the intensity of it all drives me up the wall. uncertainty makes me nervous. who, which one?

but then again, this is all unimportant. it can wait. it can wait. it can wait.

can it, really?

2004-10-22T14:15:00.000+08:00

The Four Fs'

ears on: The Cardigans - Love Fool

today was bummer. dope dope more dopey dope.

received back the end of year results for Chemistry, Physics, Biology, Additional Mathematics and Combined Humanities. out of these five, i flunked four, badly. okay, so three were F9s. one was a D7. as expected. bluek. surprisingly the subject which i had least interest in was a B3, which was Biology. i mean, i find Biology to be kinda cool but it gets irritating when memory works comes in a truckload each time. the heartbraker was Physics. i love Physics. yeah, right sufina you might say. well actually i find that those thingys we learn through Physics are cool. like those mirror factors hingy and whatnots.

but i guess sometimes things are not what they seem to be. (:

thus i conclude that most probably i would be talking either combined Physics and Chemistry with the rest of my other subjects, or drop Chemistry and take pure Physics and Biology. i think dropping would not be a good substitution. hrmph. i like Chemistry, only that i find it to be irritating when it comes to MOLE. MOLEY MOLEY MOLEEEEEE.

dope.

first thing i did once i touched home was to dunk a bottle of ice cold Ribena into my gap. whoaaaa~ cool. yeah, not fasting. God gave me a weeks off. buahaha.

some people in school do irritate the hell out of me. pretentious smiles and plastic laughs. go fuck off. i hate hyprocrites. burn and die in hell. burn baby burn.

next Friday is the mini gathering. i cant wait. woo fucking hoo.

but before that!

its yellowcard day. yeah, reportcard. whatever. its yellow whatttt.

my stomach is doing a marathon. i feel like shitting.

toodles.

oh btw, someone seemed strange today. sheesh. you are one hell of a washing machine, do you KNOW that?!

okay natures calling an emergency private meeting.

happy breaking your fast!

2004-10-21T20:48:00.000+08:00

Miss You?

ears on: Too Phat & Dato Yusni Hamid - Ala Canggung

whoaaaaaaaaaa~ today was a major headspin.

woke up at 8.30am. right, exactly one and half hours late for school. blame it on who ever you want to. Pa said he woke me up. riiight. i dont recall being waken up. hrmph. who cares.

so anyway, took a cab with a cabbie that scratched his dick every few seconds. pervetic jackass or just plain old itchy dicky, i wasnt sure. but hell did it freak me out. so i reached school around nine, just in time to run after Ms Mus and receive my Malay Language results.

woo fucking hoo!

hello A1! :) yeah, im happy to say that i passed Malay, and received an A1 after continuous threats by Ms Mus saying that i failed that paper and also by Mariam, who used to be the Malay genius, who kept on reminding me on how hard the paper was.

ohhhh but!

I BEAT YOU! mahaha. woo fucking hoo. damn it felt good to know that i got higher results that Mariam. whoaaaa. by a grade dammit. in your face? yeah, i felt like saying that to her. i know i might sound as if im bragging the shits out of me, but dont get me wrong. Malay Language is such a hard hurdle for me. i dont speak Malay that well, since i live in a house where its usual English or Singlish. hee. oh, and i have a thing against her. dont ask me why. if you know her well, you know why. bluek. :)

after that, it was free time. mahaha. wasted time doing nothing and nothing and nothing. bluek. then came Mrs Chan with the E Maths paper. and i went "omfg!", literally in her face. mahaha. oh who cares. and thankfully, i cleared the paper. and received another A1! THANK YOU GOD!

muuuah muahh muahhh muahh muaaaah to Ms Ng who taught me freaking well.

and to someone who prayed for me. :) THANK YOU YOU! haha.

but other than those two, i dont think i would get another A1. afterall, Ms Jane told the class that those who wrote over the word limit for English would receive their marks as a grade lower. so prolly an A2 or B3. :( too bad i guess. the hand just didnt want to stop going. mahaha. right.

after school was hectic. waited for Ravi like waiting for a cockeral to lay eggs. alah, how you translate that line from that P Ramlee movie?

"Macam tunggu ayam jantan bertelur!"

bottom line was that it took a looooong time. but it was okay. :D so then the five of us, me, Pav, Irsyad, Rafi and Ravi took the bus and flashed all the way to the mall. wanted to get Rafi his birthday gift. hee. so dumdeedum, end of story. bought Rafi a thirty bucked Volcom shirt. oh well. say toods to a weeks worth of savings.

had a few people tagging along. oh well. sat at MacDees and planned for a few gatherings for 2M2 03. oh i so fucking cant wait for it. :) my beloved class.

after that went back home with Rafi, only to realise that my housekeys were with Pav. whohoho. so went over to my aunts place with a filet-o-fish in a carrier, which was savoured by a five year old monster who decided to break his fast at three. at least he did try, unlike someone who tagged long. sheesh. dammit. fifteen freaking years old and you STILL eat an ice cream cone IN PUBLIC during the fasting month and only when it was only two hours to "buka" time. shame on you Wak. shame on you. all i could do was stare, in disgust.

which is something i would like to comment upon. yesterdays trip to the hospital made me feel the same disgusting feel i had earlier today. walking beside the cafe i saw two young malay couples drinking and eating like there was no tomorrow. i was freaking apalled. come on, dont you have no respect? and walking further in i saw a middle age guy savouring "kuih lapis" on a bench. right. go eat my favourite food infront of me when im dead hungry.

fcuk it.

oh well. the phone is ringing, and hell im grinning. bluekkkkkk.

selamat bersahur!

2004-10-20T22:06:00.000+08:00

Kau Ragup Degupan Hatiku Ini

ears on: Ezlynn & Datok M. Daud Kilau - Pening

Fatin, the cellular temptress. whoaaa.

hrmph. somebody has a flip phone, even if its a temporary one. and i have a fcuking one that is under probation. life is unfair. heee. but we all love Fatin. the handsome astroboy. bluek. :)

oh btw, i found some shiok-sendiri snapshots of my brother. HAHAHA. and to think that one of my close friends had a crush on him. sheesh. the world is turning haywire. go see and please dont drool. it makes me laugh like a war-torn lunatic. ;)

he is the one on the far left. seriously.

okay bluff. go figure which one.

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

another round of HAHAHAHAHAHA.

im such a bad sister.

hahahahahahaha.

but i cant help laughing at all of his snapshots. especially when he was in diapers. there was this nude snapshot of him while peeing. i swear there is. my dad was a weird photographer last time. mahahaha. but of course, its PG rated. you dont get to see his then penis. just his shocked upper half.

those were those days.

anw, ignoring those three girls at the background, try to compare my brothers face with Helmi. mahaha. my brother thinks that he looks sort of like Helmi, only more.. matured.

riiiiight Abang. riiiiight. -.-!

oh well. the phone is ringing and im expecting a call. *grins*

toodles.

selamat bersahur!

2004-10-20T08:17:00.000+08:00

Leave A Note For You, My Only One.

ears on: Yellowcard - Only One

yesterday was like dipping yourself into this huge tub of liquid mint. being inside it was torturous, so hot and painful. but after you get out, whoaa. cooling.

that was the summary of my life yesterday. and i have nothing more to say. (:

someone drives me nuts. as in deliriously nuts. bickering with him is fun. its addictive. and i cant let go of the phone. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING!?

oh, but im still grinning. :)

2004-10-19T16:52:00.000+08:00

That Old Feel

ears on: Hilary Duff - Where Did I Go Right?

examinations are over! no more messy bed! no more hidden books under pillows! no more late nights! ok screw that. i will always have late nights. no more intensive torture of my poor poor brain. aww.

at least until the November holidays, that is.

mahaha. i know i have to fucken buck up. need to get a grip on life. stop living the day just like that. i mean, without education where can you go? seriously. pfftt. but! until then, say hello to the full time slacker. :)

Hari Raya is coming in a few weeks time. and I CANT WAIT! mahaha. cant wait for the bucks. cant wait for the food. cant wait for the clothes and shoes. omfg. before that is of course the usual killer. cleaning up the houses. hrmph. what to do. cleaning is sort of stress-relieving i guess. y'know.. when you scrub the floors you go imagine the floor as the face of someone you despise and voila! you just tore the persons skin, metaphorically i mean. its just good old reverse psychology.

anw, im on the lookout for new baking recipes. kind of sick of the usual chocolate chip cookes that i bake each year. hmmm..

I CANT WAIT FOR HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI!

heee. i sound like a five year old kid. oh well. just minus my age with a decade. cant wait for the "mercun".

oh shits.

what happens before Hari Raya? the report book. okay im dead.

but before i die, lets enjoy! :D

selamat berbuka puasa to those who are fasting, including Felix. mahaha. toodles.

[EDITED]

please wait for the song to load. oh btw, its Tiara Jacquelina's Asmaradana. soundtrack from Puteri Gunung Ledang. toodles!

2004-10-18T16:09:00.000+08:00

YOU BITCH!

ears on: The Cardigans - Erase And Rewind

deary bitch(s): go on, backstab me. i dont give a fuck.

Pavalam, tomorrow i tell you what happened. :D

Physics was a killer. in fact, all of the subjects rated ten out of ten on my murder scale. pffftt. and i thought Physics was my dear favourite subject.

and tomorrow is the killer in relation to memory work. BIOLOGY! im so fucking dead. ape kebende pasal "liver" semuer.

enough about that. im too hungry to go on.

toodles!

2004-10-12T19:42:00.000+08:00

The Story of X, Y and X.

ears on: Eagles - Hotel California

pfffffft. im expecting a great big fat F on Geography paper. KNN~ AH EHHHHHHH! hrmph. dammit. aside that, another big fat F on Malay. wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf!

tomorrow is the momster of Science, Chemistryyyyyyyyy. makdicowwwwwww. i feel like farting sak looking at the exam timetable. hrmph.

the story of X, Y and Z. perfection lies in X, imperfections makes Z attracted to Y. flashmobists of Z picks X. Z? Y is still "The One". chey, like Matrix. but then again, X and Y similar, only few differences sets them apart. but THEN againnnn, Z thinks that.. hrmph. Z cant think now. things are moving too fast. study dates and late night phonecalls. looking across classroom blocks, break times and between classes. phonecalls lasting for at least five hours for X, with Y.. its all day all night! woo fucking hoo! okay, the end. continue next time.

oh btw..

IM ON HIATUS!

okay toodles. be back by next week i think.

- sometimes, perfect isnt the best

2004-10-05T22:23:00.000+08:00

A Twist Of My Lifestory, An Increase To The Heartbeat.

ears on: MXPX - Party II

yesterday and today was such a shocking surprise, and im still left breathless from it all. breathless, and smiling. haiyah, Fatin you are right. b** ****y. HAHA. finally i admit sak. okay shush Fatin, shush. :)

todays Malay Language Paper 1 and 2 left me screaming outside class, the girls toilet, and in my head. knn~ hard like some shit dammit. okay so Paper 1 was not that hard lah, i wrote some shit about David Beckham and Tiger Woods and totally forgot how to spell Ronald Susilo's name. i was like "WTF WTF WTF SUFINA WTF!" when finally i knew how to spell it after the paper. knn~ and Patrick was trying to understand what the hell i was mouthing to him. HAHA, he looked so retarded with his eyebrows going up and down, up and down. Paper 2 was hell. hell i tell you, HELL! i couldnt do the cloze well since i was so sleeeeepppppyyyyyy. yawning every few seconds and rubbing my eyes red. ah hell, its over and done.

go to Fatin's blog to read more about the cute dog that made me scream like a mad woman. one thing, she forgot to write how red her face was. HAHAHA! kekek sial. fatinnnn ouhhhh fatinnnnn. my handsome astrogirl. :P

my eyes are red. red i tell you red. like the Pontianak's eye. choyyyy. but yeah, its red. and burning hot. ITCHY ITCHY HOT HOT. knn~ no, i didnt watch porn lah.

2004-10-03T23:44:00.000+08:00

Takkan Melayu Hilang Di Dunia - Hang Tuah

ears on: Anita Sarawak - Seksis

oh i so love that song. mahaha.

anw, check out your Friendster bulletin for this account named Anti-Malays. yeah, im sure lots of you Malays who has a Friendster account would have gone hay-wire and nutso over that politically incorrect words used against us Malays. so, here are my comments. ouh, before that. i so feel like call the New Paper reporter and report about this. hey, a free handphone comes along with a hot story, right? mahaha. here goes.

Please visit this AntiMatsMinahs Friendster account if you have one.

sad to say, the person who started that account is some low-life jackass who doesnt know who is his very first president. wow, go read your Social Studies textbook. or simply simply take out your only $2 note and take a look at the face in purple. duhhh, its First President Yusof Ishak.

ohho yes, i applaude to the fact that you find that the mats and minahs are a disgrace to the society and country. too bad you are too blind to see the other Malays that did do a great change to this society. what about those veteran malay teachers who dedicated their entire lives to teach Singapore's national language? prolly since you are so full of your racism that you did not see the veteran actors as well. does the name Allahyarham Tan Sri P Ramlee rings a bell? bet you would have screamed for you mommy asking who the hell is that.

FREE EDUCATION? excuse me, but my parents and my friends parents work fucking hard for a living to school me and my friends. most of them go to ITE? well its a shame that you only see that your glass is half-empty, but not as it being half-full.

for someone who is so shallow minded, its not surprising to find out if you yourself dont go to school or maybe your school got burnt down. your choice. people with morals wouldnt diss others like the way you do.

talk about your fellow Ah Bengs and Ah Lians and whatnots. what do they do on a Saturday night? sit at home watching Discovery Channel? if you said yes, give yourself one tight bitchslap. ouh no, im not dissing these people. in fact, i DONT CARE about them at all. what i care is what you said about my race and my culture. some how to think that i have chinese blood coarsing through my veins seems to be more of an irk right now.

"Lazy people, do not contribute anything to the society. Stealing is their best talent. They steal because they are lazy to make money."

oh kid, talk about you people who go back home drunk and beat up your wives.

sad to say you dont appreaciate Traditional Malay Music. ever heard of the rebana or kompang? heard of the hadrah? no? yeah, i thought so too. pity you dont have any exposure to this country's culture. making noise? one mans treasure is another mans poison. correct me if im wrong, but take note of the meaning. i think your techno music is more of an earache but damn. have you ever heard of music appreaciation? music comes from the heart. i guess that is something you lack. go get a transplant.

such pity, do you even sing your national anthem? surprise, surpirse! its in Malay.
ouh btw, heard of the National Day Rally? its spoken in Malay first. even your Prime Minister, Senior Minister and Deputy Prime Minister speaks that language you find to be so vulgar. tsk tsk. so you saying that they said words that are similar to "fcuk" live on air?

stupidity in action.

"Long Live Anti-Malays!"

ini tanah Melayu, tempat tumpah darah Melayu. dan takkan Melayu hilang di dunia.

Love, Sufina.

oh wow, such anger i see. i guess that is what you get when you diss my race.

HIDUP MELAYU! TAKKAN MELAYU HILANG DI DUNIA!

2004-10-03T13:48:00.000+08:00

I Miss You, Already.

ears on: Anita Sarawak - Seksis

yesterday's family gathering was hilariously weird. in the good kind of weird, i mean.

i thought only my side of the family was to come, but Kak Yaya's family also come. ouh btw, Kak Yaya is my cousin's fiance. whoa~ so pretty! :) and along with Kak Yaya were my cousin-in-laws. wow, cool sak. there were.. four of them if im not wrong. the one near my age was Azimah who is in Nanyang Poly. woo, two years of difference. damn pretty. at first i thought she had mixed arab blood or something. :)

socialised around with new family members and it was kinda cool. think Kak Yaya is a very sweet person y'know. woo fucking hoo. and her sister Azimah is funny. KAHkAHkAHkA. we make lame jokes and laugh at ourselves. wtf. anw, Pak Long and gang went fishing and still didnt return when i left around 2am. the games were.. cute? mahaha. musical chairs and all those kiddy games. ironically only the big kids and mak budak won. heee. but we all share share lah eh.

oh btw, its located near Old Changi Hospital. HANTU HANTU HANTU! HAkHAkHAKhA. it was nice scaring those five kids. heee.

too bad i couldnt sleep there. ish. yeah well, grandmama is sick so gotta rush home!

update more later i guess.

nature's call. toods!

2004-10-02T13:03:00.000+08:00

The Undeniable Attraction.

ears on: Mariah Carey - Underneath The Stars

oh wow, i so love Mariah Carey. i like all of her ballads, especially Butterfly and Underneath The Stars.

anw, my purpose here is to wish Alfian Happy Fifteenth Birthday! nasi minyak kau ngan Yaya maneeee?!

my all-time favourite couple of the year. heee. seriously i think these two lovebirds would last a long time. if not i'd kill Alfian. (: so good luck to the both of you and Yan, take care of Yaya well.

okay, bye!

crush, underneath thy fears.

2004-10-02T01:52:00.000+08:00

A man loved a woman, a child it was born.

ears on: David Byrne - Like Humans Do

whoa. just ended my revision for Geography, which would be in two weeks time. early eh. i so need to score for my Humanities. anw, today's/yesterday's English Language Paper One was kinda alright. eh, for the job application is there a need to write down your contact number? i didn't. so if there was a need, im penalised. shits. the essay was somewhat a very personal recount. huerk. the title was simply 'Saying Goodbye'. well, the first thing that came to mind was Nenek. okay, so it wasn't really a exact factual recount, but only a mere adjustment to the ending. i guess when i described the old lady that i named Asoka, i was describing about Nenek. hee, and i was the lead. mahaha. i named myself Keiko. don't ask me about the usage of strange names. Keiko was i think a name from this Korean movie while Asoka is Asoka. y'know? that legendary thingy and that Hindustan movie starring Shah Rukh Khan? okay, nvm. after school was a trip to Causeway Point and McDee with TinTin.

KAHkAHkAHkHAkHAkHAkHAkHAkAHAH.

TinTin here is i think my pee-inducer. whoaaaa~ she truly knows how to make me laugh until i have the ultimate urge to pee. knn you. okay, bluff. bluekkkk. and spending the afternoon with her is like entering weirdman world. whatever i look at would be seen at a different angle, especially when she makes her weird yet hilarious comments. like that China-talking, 'knn/ccb shouting' Indian guy. mahaha. wtf.

here comes the weird life.

i've been talking to this particular schoolmate for the past few days or weeks and talking to that schoolmate was like talking to an old friend. it just clicks. huahua. the strange thing is, when we see each other at school, its like invisible man meets invisible woman. get what i mean? school = total strangers, but msn = all day all night talk. a first for me though. anw, that schoolmate of mine is smashing. ouh, we share baking recipes. how.. yummy. to think that we share a truckload of similar interests and have alot of similar traits. oh well. (: we'll just watch and see.

today evening is the trip to Pak Long's chalet and i so fucking can't wait for it! omg omg omg. meeting those two kiddos, Imah and Apis, would be like TinTin meeting Adam Brody or me meeting Sheila on 7's Duta or Lix meeting Emma Watson live in person. y'know? damn i love my niece and nephew. maybe some snapshots would be perfect. I CAN'T WAIT! its the family gathering of the Adams family, the Roslis family and the Rohmans family. cool sak! and of course deary Nenek would be there too. :)

momster and Pa has just left to the other house, leaving me with a sink full of soiled cutlery. alah, tomorrow i clear. Geography is calling me, and i so need to buck up!! Ms Radha pm-ed me yesterday asking why am i so distracted in class. whoaaa. that bad?! BUCK UP! BUCK UP!

this picture reminds of the Physics lesson yesterday. FYI, we were learning about transverse waves. woo fucking hoo. i love the Gamma waves. why? the name reminds me of gummie bears. heeee.

okay, bye.

2004-09-30T21:49:00.000+08:00

you think i feel fine?

ears on: Faith Hill - There You'll Be

When I think back
On these times
And the dreams
We left behind
I'll be glad 'cause
I was blessed to get
To have you in my life
When I look back
On these days
I'll look and see your face
You were right there for me

[Chorus:]
In my dreams
I'll always see your soar
Above the sky
In my heart
There will always be a place
For you for all my life
I'll keep a part
Of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you'll be

Well you showed me
How it feels
To feel the sky
Within my reach
And I always
Will remember all
The strength you
Gave to me
Your love made me
Make it through
Oh, I owe so much to you
You were right there for me

[Repeat chorus]

'Cause I always saw in you
My light, my strength
And I want to thank you
Now for all the ways
You were right there for me
You were right there for me
For always

[Repeat chorus]

i dont know what i feel like doing now. cry? scream in frustration? go stab that pink bear with my mother's chopper? ah fuck you cibai. im just so fucking pissed off.

i can handle lots of stuff; sparring with my brother and getting bruises, getting stared in the face with a bitchy headmistress or being left at home alone without food but i cant handle ~~friends~~ so-called-close-friends. dammit. somehow, angry is not the word to describe what im feeling right now since last night. angst? mmm, nope. okay fine. its an ugly mesh of frustration, major disappointment and damn do i feel like burning the birthday present you gave me. then again, i love that bear. shittttttttt. fuckkkkkkkkk.

ouh, that song i put; There You'll Be, its not just a fun fair lah. i got my reasons. pfffft.

alah, rimas sak aku dengan dektu!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

momster has so greatly influenced Pa that i had a screaming session with Pa on the phone. oh please, reaching home at 6pm is not late dammit.

screw youuuuuuuuuuu!

dammit.

what a shittyfuck day i have.

at least there is the OC, kan?

you WERE right there for me

2004-09-29T21:37:00.000+08:00

A boy named Him

ears on: Mariah Carey - One Sweet Day

was clearing up my crib and then stumbled upon my Mariah Carey's Greatest Hits CD. whoa, long time no hear. now i know why i bought that CD. hee.

anw, school was lethargic and boring. nothing exciting, aside the same old sightings of pretty girls throwing their education away and becoming pathetic bitches. ouch. a perfect girl who used to have all but now lost the attitude. oh girl, i so pity/hate you. go flirt your life away then. i dont give a fucking shit. how fugly can your attitude get, i wonder.

ouh, please dont get me wrong. im not falling head over heels over anybody, i just like that blinky. afterall, now is so not the time for all these crushes. boys can wait. i need to get my education certificates right first. woo fucking hoo.

that movie is such a fucking must watch! go buy the VCD or take the bus to City Square and watchhhhhh! Tiara Jacquelina is so hot. wow.

i think im going to fail the latest Social Studies test. hrmph. which means i can only depend on Geography, which is also another irritant to my head. knn. without Humanities, say ciao to my entrance to Junior College. pffffffffffffffft. geram sak.

ouh well. im dead starved and thinking of Tin's quote is making me laugh all over again. oh my deary girlfriends. three is a company, four is a crowd. heeee.

brothers are meant to be bitchy gayboys. my brother is one of them. what a jackass.

- you know, i just dont understand you

2004-09-28T19:12:00.000+08:00

i love DUTA! heee.

ears on: Sheila On 7 - Itu Aku

no updates because most of them are personal. hee. i love duta. dont you? go ogle at him then. toodles!

okayyy! toodles. i love duta.

heeee.

2004-09-27T21:59:00.000+08:00

and now, i have seven babies.

ears on: Gorbachev - Place Of Mine

LIX! my fishes arent gays or lesbians! AkHAkAHkHAkaH. god dammit, they laid seven eggs and i didnt realise it. whoa. now got four mini fish. cool sak. ouh, Paps bought a fish tank and fish food. :D so now i dont have to use my money! what a cheapo. anw, the location of the fish tank would be at the rectangular table between the hall and the study room. wow. just outside my room. cool sakkk. ouh one more thing! its still alive after three days! :D what an accomplishment Sufina.

todays Malay Listening Compre sucked for me. i think i was deaf or somthing. i guess its just the distractions in my head. hah. i kept on repeating the reactivity series for Chemistry test that was so over. knn ah! you see, its still going over and over again in my head. the memory hanger i mean. y'know?

Please Send Cats, Mariam And Zombie In Large Hired Cages. Make Sure Goldmember Padlocks.

ITS STUCK IN MY HEAD! good, cause it really important.

ouh well. Friends is about to start. heee. toodles then.

bob; cinta seorang teman.

2004-09-26T13:37:00.000+08:00

whaaaaaaat? a new family member?!

ears on: Blink 182 - Adam's Song

life at home has been weird, sweet and irritating for the past few days. yesterday was sweet.

today? ohoho. today is weird and irritating.

IRRITATING I TELL YOU! pffft. one thing, my layout has been messed up and my entry i wrote just a few seconds ago went *kapish* fine, i can deal with that. after all, all it needs is just some editing and re-writing. what i cant deal with is that two kids who just DONT WANT TO ACT THEIR AGE are fuckingly irritating me and suffocating me with their endless childish acts. fuck off.

but then again, why should those god damned kids get to me right? riiiiight!

so lets talk about weird life. :)

momster bought me a pet. 14 pets to be exact. okay, so they are fishes. guppies. just though id let you know the last time i had a pet fish, it died. mmhmm, just two or three days later. it wasnt my fault that i found it to be interesting to spin the water round and round, i was only.. five i think. wow. so i took four, two big two small. haha, sounds like playing 4-D. anw, i named the fattest one Gemok since its fat. one thing, i dont know if its male or female. i mean, there are no boobs or dicks to proove their sexuality, right? oh well. lets just wait and see if there are any offsprings. :) then there would be mini-Gemok.

my sudden confession of my laziness was inherited from Pa sent momster laughing. but i meant what i said. i am like Pa, and vice versa. after eating, the telly is a must. we both hate wrestling and easily barfs when engulfed with some stupid incense. we both hate nuts, and dont regularly eat any spicy food. oh, we blame each other for the slightest thing. so Pa, one day when you read this guess what! im like you. HAHA. which means when you nag, you sould like Nenek Ani.

i think Abang is in love. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. you see, to even type that sentence was hard work. i couldnt stop laughing. well, it seriously is hilarious to know that a girl can see through his disgusting habits at home and all. HAHAHA. god, have you even seen him waking up in the morning with drool stuck all over his face? HAHAHA. oh well. dont let me start on his nasty eating habits when EPL is on the telly.

are all guys like that? wow.

back to studying! toodles then.

- i never conquered anything

2004-09-25T20:08:00.000+08:00

banana was his favourite word, wow.

ears on: Sheila On 7 - Priya Terhebat

i like this, ALOT. passed on from Violent Femme.

If I were to wear tapered pants
I'd cut my legs off
Oh I'd rather wear a skirt, man
All these tapered pants look like selenge
You all look like shit!!!!!

Your legs from far look like chopstick!
And all the minahs dont think you can escape
You wear tapered, you still I hate!
Dont care you girl, dont care you boy
You still wear tapered,
I still hate you all!
You all taik!
You all jubo!

HAHA! i love the song! dedicated to all young and old. woo fucking hoo.

and Violent Femme gave me this game that caught my attention for a few seconds, then okay bye. i want the real thing. ouh, that adrenaline rush of pushing your fingers onto that protrusion of air and kapish! craving for more and more of that plastic poppers is killing me! ahhhhh! addiction to the real thing kills me. wow. go here to have fun, for a few seconds.

snap on me, baby. ouch.

okay, study time is calling. im cramming for Chemistry for now.

- go kill that blow up bitch and her gayboy, honey.

2004-09-25T14:55:00.000+08:00

the best friend turned boyfriend.

ears on: Unsung Zeros - Pictures

ouh baby. two packets of chipsmore, and still two more to go. im still hungry though.

hungry, but still smiling. why? ouh, its the norm.

- pictures of you and me always makes me smile.

2004-09-25T13:37:00.000+08:00

trashing you at the back of my mind seems to be such a bad idea.

ears on: Agnes Monica - Indah

ouh, wow. i have so much things to talk about. as per norm, the object of my obsession. huerk. of course next would be the usual mundane school life. but then again, all of my scribblings sounds so.. so cliche. the normal talks, the normal rantings.

i so fucking feel like getting out of this endless cycle and move on. hrmph.

for the past few days i've been observing people, be it in school or outside. ouhhh, well. no offence but girls these days.. omfg. short skirts, screaming voices, smoking. i think i can write better in Malay. sorry.

mana maruah kau sebagai seseorang wanita yang mulia? sudahkan kesucian dan darjat kau terpupus hilang ditelani zaman? dimanakan prinsip dan pendirian kau? tidakkah ada perasaan malu apabila dilihat orang dengan penuh dengan kekejian? tidakkah ada perasaan malu? malu kerana bergitu liar. sesungguhnya aku tidak faham. bukankah kau seseorang anak melayu-islam? sepatutnya kau dibesarkan di dalam rumah yang sempura dengan ibadah dan tata tertib. pernahkah dahi kau itu menyentuh tikar sembahyang? pernahkah kau sujud dan memohon ampun kerana kesedaran akan dosa-dosa kau? pernahkan kau mensucikan diri dengan air wudhu? tidak terlintas di fikiran kau akan hari Kiamat? sudah lupakah akan Tuhan yang maha esa? malu, sungguh malu. aku melihat anak melayu kita berkeliaran ngan pakaian yang menonjolkan aurat. menunjuk-nunjuk buah dadamu itu. bagus sangatkah orang Barat itu? mulut kau melahirkan kata-kata kesat, biadab. berpekik-pekik di antara teman-teman kau. aku hanya boleh mengata, tidak boleh merubahkan ini semua. tidak, aku bukanlah seseorang wanita yang alim. yang bersolat lima waktu sehari. bukan, aku mengaku. tetapi aku tahu membezakan apa yang benar. wahai wanita seperjuanganku, janganlah memurahkan diri kau. apakah kau fikir martabat kau akan ditinggikan setiap kali pakaianmu menjadi lebih ketat dan pendek? tadahkanlah tanganmu dan mohonlah akan pengampunan Illahi. bersihkanlah hatimu, bukakanlah hatimu. bersolatlah. buatlah endah tak endah kepada mereka yang mempertawakan kau kerana kau bersolat. ingatlah akan hari Kiamat. bertaubatlah.

- Seindahnya bunga sakura disana,
takkan seindahnya kisah cintaku.

2004-09-23T18:41:00.000+08:00

- ouhh wow. he's back. (:

ears on: Finch - Letters To You

:D school was a tad off today. of course, lots of grins. huahua. ignorace level went up a notch. wow. i discovered that the few wacky people in class are actually some of the smartarses. cool! :D of course, the gayboys are them lah. expect the girls to draw a distorted gay version of Vasan on the white board? riiight. and pigs will fly one day. lmfao with those gayboys during the free period. nice.

after school, mini roadtrip to Kim Keat Road with Tin and Haiyul. HAHA. wtf sak. i felt as though i was some kampong kid in the great big city. okay, bedek. ouh, it was fun. those weird, and maybe gatal, cinonet men sitting beside Haiyul staring at us. eyyRrrr. gatallll! bloated myself with a KFC's Iced Lemon Tea and went home unable to control my bladder. its the same bladder-control disorder thingy. woosh.

Pa has been greatly influenced by momster again after two hard weeks of brainwashing him. ahhhhh, nooooo. there goes my liberty at home again. fuck.

i still haven't return Pak Long's umbrella. haa, pemalas kannn. ahhhh who cares.

tell me, what would you do when your close buddy suddenly transformed into someone who would fit perfectly in a plastic clique? me? i'd just ignore and go on with my life. get it? good. now shoo.

puasa is coming in a few days time, and i still have six days of fasting to be paid back. knn. you see what procrastination does to you? now i can't wait for my bloody ordeal to end.

people has been pm-ing me for the past few seconds asking why the hell is my nick "want you to know that; i miss you, i miss you so." hrmph. its a really nice song by Finch i heard at Lix's blog. go click on the name and listen!

ahh, i have nothing more to say. all i can do is grin. :) okay, bye!

- i want you to know, i miss You. i miss You so.

2004-09-22T18:42:00.000+08:00

ears on: OAG - NowWhy2

*kapish*

just woke up from a two hour sleep. ouh, wow. i feel so.. HOT. as in because of the heaty weather and all lah. panas kebabaian! hot sak. hot hot hottttt.

curriculum time was, as usual, average. haaa, okay bluff. *grin* recess is of course, the favourite subject aside Physics. i think Mr Khoo kicks ass. seeing him do the boogie in the school newsletter cracked me up. he seriously looked like the retro boogeyman, all he needed was a Yankee pants, silk shirt, a wild afro and *tadaa!* hmm, maybe i'll put up the snapshot when i scan it.

hungry, anybody?

bluekkk. i just had something of that sort a few seconds ago. ouhhhhh, it melts my the mouth. huahua. okay, so the colours were more of brown and white with sprinkles of chocolate chips. woo fucking hoo! sedappp. not forgetting of course the loyal Chipsmore cookies that will forever be on stock no matter how many chickens/birds are culled. :)

after school was kind of cool. stayed back with the gayboys Pravin, Jeremy and Durwin to do some project thingy. eh cool sak. we started to talk about the weird people in class, the weird teachers and the old songs. huahua. its just the opposite versions of us girls. like i said, gayboys. then fiddled around with some chalk and stained my shirt pink. eeyRrr. got addicted with the adhesive spray and sprayed on the art room tables so when Pravin leaned on them, he got stuck. cool sakkkkk!

then when back home with Vincent. clashed again with Yi Kun. HI! :D then reached home. ate, telly, sleep. and now im here. rubbing my eyes red and fanning pathetically with my fingers. panassss!

hrmph. i want to jump into the shower. toodles then.

ouh btw i hate bitchy gayboys, and girls that cackle. you deserve to be murdered by a serial killer. :)

- fi! fi! *grin*

2004-09-21T18:15:00.000+08:00

ears on: Hilary Duff - Crash World

*grins*

*grins at Pavalam*

ouh well. sometimes wishes do come true. but then again, keeping your hopes up high doesn't do much, right? don't burst your bubble, that is what people say. haaa, philosophical nonsense. bluek.

i love that snapshot. resembles the image of a feminist, you know?

anw, school was sweeeeeeeeet. *grins* ouh, and this couple is still my favourite couple. huahua. a tribute to Yan and Yaya.

back to school! sudden attack by the cramps sent me reeling and i had the urge to puke. a sudden wave of nausea just slapped me right in the face. whoaaa. thank god it lasted for only one hour. i needed a warm mug of hot something, milo, chocolate or whatever. oh wow. never has such desire for convulsion came ofver me.

momster is returning back soon. hrmph. she's is on the edge of mid-life crisis. ahhh, save me. haaaaaaaaaa, crank up that crankiness all the way up! hardcore, hardcore!

heeee, cute. ouhhhh wow. Fatin, i know you are rolling your eyes. huahua.

till then, toodles.

- go on, get out of my head.

2004-09-20T23:57:00.000+08:00

ears on: Asyraf - Broken Promise

ouh, wow! i didn't know that a whole total song could be done within a day. and hell does it sound good. HAHA. i mean, seriously. ASYRAF YOU HAVE TALENT!

okay, so this is the song that i co-wrote with Asyraf, with the music composed by Asyraf. huahua. the lyrics was written during Additional Maths class. and this song is dedicated to this close friend, a guy for me, and a girl for Asyraf.

Lyrics: Sufina & Asyraf
Composed by: Asyraf
Tittle: Broken Promise

break your trust
and i lost you
you're standing there
would you put your eyes on me
this song is only just for you

would you please accept my apology
so please come and talk to me
what i did was a big mistake
i hope that you're okay

girl!
so please don't be mad at me
i said im sure that im sorry..

oh wow. most of the credits goes to Asyraf, of course. :) and if you ever did lose a friend, i feel for you.

ah, emo sufina emo. emooooo.

haaaa, i still haven't start on homework. all in the name of MUSICOLOGY! woo fucking hoo!

2004-09-20T22:11:00.000+08:00

ears on: OAG - NowWhy2

tiada yang lain melainkanNya. ouh, i so love this song. its actually supposed to be Nawaitu, which means in the name of God if im not wrong. correct me if i am.

ahhhhhh. i hate it when im in that particular period, literally. things usual go wrong, like a bad hair day or some things forgotten.

eh wait, isn't that all the time? ahhh wtf.

a bitch and a jackass is fucken irritating the hell out of me. if i were to be a pyschotic serial killer, you two would be my first object of obsession. hell yes. oh well. till then, you will just see me grinning at you. keep on bugging me. i'll be nice and sweet. awww.

nothing much has entered my head since this morning due to intensive cramps that sent me either reeling with angst, sleepy or just plain hungry. pffft. and i feel like murdering momster. could you pleaaaase stop forcing me to eat when i DON'T WANT TO! dammit. you think im some kind of toy that you can keep on pushing food down my oesphagus or something? knn.

some gay boys = bitches

trust me, they do exist. but then again, they currently exist as a pathetic population that is near zilch, but still growing.

as you can see, i am full of hate and anger and angst and all that bad stuff momster is made up of. why? you are asking me whyyyy?!

its because of some bloody [literally] thing we girls get every month. okay on the bright side, stains has reduced to a wonderful zero. yeehaw, coolio.

ahhhh, one bright side of school though aside the weird sidekicks of mine. the activity we did during CME was kinda sweet. we had to write the positive and negative characteristics of a person on this piece of paper that was taped to the back of the person. ouh, style. :D so i went around scribbling words, and people ran around screaming and scribbling words on other people. well, being the particularly weird person in class, i just went round people and wrote "okay, bluff!" on the negative sides. haaa, i feeeeel good about that since some nasty little kiddies wrote some serious nasty stuff. *kapish*

i mean, how could you seriously diss someone so rudely? what, you think is funny when you write something so seirously wayyy low and then call others to look at it? Firdaus, i think what you did sucked. i don't think Aman is a nerd. you know who is the nerd? you are, you pervertic 5-year-old bitch. i don't that Pravin is a wuss. if you think you are not such a sissy, then why say this only NOW? why not before? why not go straight face to face and say it? ouh bitch. go wear a bra and skirt to school. you don't deserve to wear those pants. you know what? i think your laughter is wayyyy freaky. dude, you sound like a sexually-deprived dolphin. go record your voice before dissing others. just because you think you are smart in the brains doesn't mean that you have a nice heart. bitch, i think you deserve a bitch slap from all of us. want a wedgie?

what a fugly bitch. pull those socks higher.

anddd now, im putting this snapshot of my all time favourite couple, Yan and Yaya!

eheyyyy, senyum ehhhhhhhhh! :D

i just find them adorable, wayyyy adorable to be not be given attention here. bluek. and to these two lovebirds, bila aku boleh makan nasi minyak? :D

okay then. homework is calling my name.

2004-09-17T16:10:00.000+08:00

ears on: Sheila On 7 - Saat Aku Lanjut Usia

sufina <3 duta

*grins*

*grins*

*grins*

okay, smile. woo fucking hoo.

lethargic for the past week. sudden temptations to go go-cart racing is killing me. remorse for not buying the chocolate waffle is also killing me. :D

and i feel like stranging blogger. whatever i have just writting has gone kabosh. zilch. *kapish*

lets just concentrate on the hot part. haa, think what.

school is flooded with bisexual bitches. i meant both male and female bitches. maybe my sudden display of my middle finger was the fuel for your sudden retarded movements of your limpy hands in a pathetic attempt to diss me back, and Tin's "mind your own business" was the icing for our sudden outburst but damn. fat arses are not meant to be shown off. you skirt? folding it hundredfold wont make your previously super-large arse sexy. to me, it seemed to be fitting from the XXXXL range. go run to Mommy then. she'd agree with me. and gayboys? gossiping is not your thing. i so fucking hardcore hate you. and labelling my girlfriend to be "plastic"? ouh boy. i so owe you a bitch slap.

okay, done. fuh. weekend is here so im off to the other house. more revisions on the double Mathematics and triple Sciences then. huerk. and before i forget.

Happy Advanced 15th Birthday.

dont say i didnt wish you. toodles.

- sufina <3 duta! hidupmati SheilaGank! \m/

2004-09-16T17:30:00.000+08:00

ears on: Coldplay - Yellow

busted my 2-day allowance for a pair of purple star studs and a blue-white hairclip. omfg! ouh well. at least there was free chocolate waffle courtesy of Tinosh.

ah senyummmm Tinnnnt.

momster's birthday is coming up soon. lets just ignore and run away shall we? okay, bad daughter. i'd probably go book for her a dinner at Swensens then ask Pa to pay. ouhhhh, the norm lifestyle. last night was a a mixture of both joy and horror. omfg!

joy because of a ridiculous phonecall which turned out to be cool.

horror because of my dream being chased by Satan. HAHA. okay, laugh. it was sort of funny, sort of scary. Tint says that the dream has a message. woo fucking hoo. i'd say the same too. enough about that. its way to real, and its real enough for me to be scared. back to my weird school life.

woo fucking hoo. sudden realisation of someone's presence in school after three years of knowing that person just hit me in the eye. BANG! wow. cute. HAHA. but still its just a man-to-man relationship. which also equates to being friends and co-workers. but still, wow. cute. *grins at Pav!*

for the past few days i've been irritating myself by holding onto a scissors and imagining me with short hair again. nooooo. now is not the time. it still has to growww. the fucking bangs still need to grow. i look like some 7 year old Japanese kid. or that was what my Aunt said. SEVEN?! omfg! okay, drama. then i want to cut my hair like that yesteryear Seventeen ad. hahhhhh, got2b. woo fucking hoo.

end of year is coming soon. preparation started a month ago. you think i can handle it? i hope so. daily revisions on my hitlist would be Additional Mathematics, Chemistry and Physics. Social Studies is bugging me to death, and Geography has become more of a chore that something i'd naturally understand. life is unfair!

people around at school have changed. people that used to be close to me are getting further away. close friend-turned stranger-turned new friend is talking to me like before. sweet. irritation with some plastic school dolls has gone to a maximum high. lethargy has overcomed me, but still some hidden nibbles under the desk is the only antidote. cravings for sudden weird fruits has been the topic of my stomach. somehow during Malay Languagejust now images of raisins made me drool, metaphorically.

HAHA. talk about Malay Language. the usual guilty suspects for dancing would be of course Irsyad and Rafi. ouh those gay boys. shaking their bonbons to Turn Me On. what a way to turn me into the laugh addict.

ouh well. momster is returning back home soon. chores are still undone, and my room is the exact replica of a sudden nuclear blowjob. go run along and scream to Mommy if you get excited by that word. its just and expression, dammit.

homework is piling up and up and uppp on the messy study table. ah, shits. im tempted to cut my hair.

ah, toodles then.

Tint, style your hair like how you did just now. :D

2004-09-15T21:59:00.000+08:00

ears on: Ezlynn - Bersamamu

okay, first.

ahhhhhh. im grinning. :D

woo fucking hoo.

back to life.

religious class was a total bore without the gay boys around. hah, okay. bluff. its Khairuddin and the two cousins of Ms Wati. but still they do gay around. huahua.

ahhhh. Amazing Race is on the telly. toodles then.

i'd grin for no fucking good reason. :)

2004-09-15T16:33:00.000+08:00

ears on: M2M - Your Smiling Face

woo fucking hoo. my hair is in a fucken mess after headbangs in the bathroom. oh well. it didnt hurt to have some screams in the toilet.

school has been mundane. the same things, the same people. sometimes the sudden odd surprises, like today's sudden shocking smile. hrmph. failed another social studies test. like i care. right now im way more into Physics, Additional Maths and Chemistry. hah, surprise. realised that all it needed was constant attention and many hundreds of ways to make it interesting. one way is to make fun of the subject, then making that into a memory hanger, thus leading to me understanding such a ridiculous subject. at least i have four gay boys sitting on my left and a kooky sidekick beside.

i think im getting sick and tired of the girls in school with their short skirts, unoriginal short-layered hair which also resembles like some oversized helmets for some. and Von Dutch is so yesteryear. grow up kiddies. education is more important that your bags or hairs, or worse. boys. which is also something i have given up on for quite a long time. just another pesky distraction for me, aside my baby.

momster has been on the lookout for me going out dating with boys.

OMFG!

her psychotic mind has gone retardedly worse. OMFG!

dating? oh come on Ma. the people in school are wayyyy immature. *hints at someone real hard* Fatin, know who? okay, besok tell. anw, socks has been the highlight of this term. wtf. my socks was confiscated. ouh nonsense. why cant we go back to the good old days of i-dont-care-what-socks-you-are-wearing-just-make-sure-its-white? why?! fucking WHY?! okay, drama mama.

Malay Language was as usual, sweet. had some interesting discussion with the usual guilty parties aka Ria, Helmi, Irsyad, Rafi and ~~Jeffery~~ ~~Jeffry~~ Jap's about some religious thingy. coolio. eh wait. how you spell Jap's name? ah, whatever. anywhos, im going to do some reading about Islam again. haaa, big surprise. its been a long time since i got myself into religious mode again. woo fucking hoo. eh wait. here's a quote by Irsyad, which is in Malay to prevent anyone from getting offended.

"Satu kali kau tidak sembahyang Subuh, kau masuk Neraka selama 30 tahun Neraka. 1 tahun di Neraka sama dengan 1000 tahun di dunia. Maksudnya 30 tahun di Neraka sama dengan 30 000 di dunia. Haaa, tu ah kau. Tarak mau sembahyang kan, kan kannnn!"

okay, end.

back to life.

been craving to cut my hair again, like the got2b commercial ad in past Seventeen magazines but thennnn my fringe has to touch my chin first. which would obviously take around a few months. maybe new year's cut then. huahuahua.

to all Muslims.

haaa, sekarang jangan makan banyak sangat. nanti mau puasa ketagih. HAHA.

okay, bye. i need to finish my chocolate waffle.

and i love Adam Brody. HAHA.

2004-09-10T01:31:00.000+08:00

ears on: Nurul & Ajai - Persamaan

if i could go back in time, i'd go to to the few weeks before my birthday. why? because i'd still be talking to a particular friend. and if birthday wishes do come true, i'd wish that i'd still be talking to you. oh well. maybe things would get better, or remain monotonous.

anw, i have a huge crush on..

:D okay, smile Sufina smileeee.

ADAM BRODY aka Seth Cohen!

did you just go "huhhh?" don't you watch The OC? huahua. im in looooove with Adam Brody. and so is Fatin. mahaha. we all are arent we. and i like Anna. nope, not Marissa, Anna. she is hot. wohoho. and i like her identity. part weirdo, part coolio. which is something most girls lack. originality. and i know some of yous who read this lack that as well. aww, too bad. go run along to mommy now. back to Adam and Anna.

*grins*

okay, here are some snapshots of Anna, my wonderwoman. :D

LAWAR SAK!

told she is hot. and so is Adam! ahhhhhhhh. its been a long time since i had a celebrity crush. huahua. oh well. one final snapshot of Anna, with Adam. a tad too small though.

okay, i cant resist putting one more of Anna's snapshot. this is waaaaaay sweet.

okay, im done.

so, i have one hour to tumble dry the rug, bring in the laundry, iron my clothes and pack for tuition. toodles then deary people.

once again!

ADAM BRODY IS HOT!

2004-09-09T17:15:00.000+08:00

ears on: Tak Tahan Lagi - Melly Goeslaw

wohoho. i love this song. okay, actually i love all songs by indonesian artistes. indo music rocks my socks off. anw, school was sweet. did the usual mathematics revision. coolio. i think im starting to enjoy doing maths revision for end of year, of course with the availability of people i can connect with and good music. huahua. ehey, i just realised that my third piercing is closed. *screams in pure agony* okay, bluff. but damn. wasted fuor buckaroos. then again, its momsters fault that the thing closed. haa, yesterdays news. ignore it then. feel like piercing the left one instead. huahua. wonder what will momster say or do.

back to school again. Jazlyn aka the Fashion Mama is another lady aside Fatin who i will give my ten gun salute to. check, check, check it out. i mean, check out her accessories. Christian Dior wallet babyyyyy. Creative mp3 player babyyyyy. holiday in KL babyyyyy. and aside all that materialistic things, Jaz doesnt flaunt her buckaroos. not forgetting her rockin' attitude and pinchable cheeks! now tell me, who else is like that? we all love Jazlyn dont we? yes we do. :D

Jaz, you rock. huahua. okay, Fatin rocks too. huahua.

would the song 'Berhenti Berharap' by Sheila On 7 say what i feel? hrmph. oh well. its a nice song. ahhh, im hungry. and there is no food. how sweet. lets cook.. pasta? or just maggi mee. mahaha. im just too damn hungry to care. at least i can eat. huahua. Anas is fasting and IM EATING! mahaha. see you tomorrow girl!

♥ who?

you make a guess, but i'll never tell. (:

2004-09-08T13:45:00.000+08:00

ears on: Too Phat & Yasin - Alhamdullilah

why, Ma? why fucking why. kick me out of the house if you fucking hate me. go, id rather live with some stranger who fucking would let me be me. who fucking cares that im not your perfect daughter. go thrust a knife at me then. you want me to be YOU. well, surprise surprise.

I AM NOT. go marry another man and get your perfect daughter than. or get some adopted kid or whatever. i don't give a fuck.

all momsters are treefuckers. ouh i wish i had Aman's mom. damn, SHE asked HIM to go pierce his ears. ahhhhhh. WTF! WTF! WTF! and for god's sake, he doesn't want because its wrong. hmmm. were we exchanged during birth? hah, mepek.

soooo, school was another mundane day. oh before that. huerk. last night's medley of horrible nightmares were kind of funny when i told it to Pavalam. dreams about ex-boyfriends kissing your best friends' and girls screaming alone. oh god. i need some adjustments on this loosened screw at the back of my head. told you i was weird.

okay so back to school. Biology was kind of cool. learnt about Excretion. excretion is the process whereby metabolic waste are removed from the body. hrmph. there was a loooong yak about kidneys and the thingys in a kidney. whoa, for such a small thingamagic, it does alot to keep our body healthy. so, a salute to all kidneys. :)

and nowwwww, im having tuition soon. at three. hrrmph. im so sleeeeepy. and someone is fucking irritating me. okay, its two. including my retarded parents, four. two for school, two for home. how nice.

oh well. toodles then. i need some life adjustments.

ouhhh! tomorrow Hashim -or is Hasyim? anw, tomorrow im getting back the 80's hits cd. coolio. we are the retro kids. gerek ah!

till then, keep irritating all those momsters out there.

2004-09-07T22:25:00.000+08:00

ears on: Ruffedge - Goyang

if you realise, ive been listening to Era 104.5 FM for the past few.. months? haha. oh well. i think i dig indonesian music wayyy more than i dig other genres. maybe because of my faint Javanese blood. or Bugis blood. oh, whatever. having Chinese, Malay, Bugis and Javanese blood all in one makes me feel like some unnamed rojak. huahuahua.

ouh baby, school was the norm. yessss, school. prefer school than home. :) Haziq was as usual, the funny dude who talks in some weird accent. okay so its supposed to be Aussie, but god does it sound like Yiddish or what. somehow i think Haziq and deary Fatin would make a deadly duo in the dating world. eh eh eh! :D who agree say 'SquarePants!' anw, finally someone decided to talk, or rather communicate. ah yest, no high hopes. but still its cool. okay, back to weird life. that was personal weird life. mahaha.

sooo, skipped Chemistry. because its boooooring. instead, played table-tennis with Syuaidah. okay, first of all, we used a shuttlecock instead. so.. its badpong? hah. mepek. then the trio, Ida, Raudhah and Syuaidah went to my house. HAHAHA. what the hell. cooked maggi mee and wow! sucess. :D and here comes the shiok part.

Pulangkan! Pulangkan apa yang telah kau rampas dariku! Pulangkan!

recognise it? ouh, sorry. its in Malay. anw, its the infamous line from the movie Pontianak. the four of us were screaaaaaming like some retarded nyonya with a cactus up her arse. loudest screamer? Raudhah. longest time screamed? long enough to make my ear deaf. by who? Raudhah. person who squeezed my arm as though it was some kind of lifeless stuffed toy? Raudhah. thennn, Pavalam came. :D she too watched the movie. oh, i was sandwiched between her and Raudhah. Pav was hidden beneath Mamas shirt. HAHA.

after that was tuition. coolio. fell asleep due to lack of food. after tuition, dinner! with Pav and Helmi. a two buckaroo burger and a fourty cents drink. this is life of the rich and famous.

and nowwww, im back home. hair all messed up. I CANT FIND MY SPECS! altogether now..

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

life without specs was cool before. nowwwww, im blind. okay so someone slap me. its under my bed. such an absent minded weirdo.

oh well. life is getting surprising each day. today was surprising. yesterday was surprising. wonder what surprises ill get for tomorrow.

till then, im raiding the kitchen. toodles. :)

there is no harm in dreaming, right? so maybe i will dream.

2004-09-06T21:13:00.000+08:00

ears on: Tiara Jacquelina - Asmaradana

i loooooove this song. ahhh. ouh btw, its one of the soundtracks from Puteri Gunung Ledang. but one thing though, the movie isn't the real story about the real legend. mmm, or is it a myth? i give up. but whatever it is, ahhhhhhhh. Tiara Jacquelina is hot. see her snapshot from the previous entry. (:

thank god there is another person online who wants to watch the movie and understands it. :D huahua. of course its the malay movie addict, Danial. go see the movie at Malaysia! went to see the midnight movie at 1.35 AM and hell was the cinema packed. as in like full house. the tickets for the midnight show was sold out. whoa. and guess what! i saw two kids in Evergreen Primary School national day t-shirts. :D and about five other Singaporean families. ouh, its easy to see thru their kiasu-ism, language of broken malay, singlish and those "gerek sehhh!" from those oh-so-cute-kids.

do i sound chirpy? huahua. guess again.

dissappointment is still hovering. ): oh well.

2004-09-06T16:47:00.000+08:00

ears on: Wild Cherry - Play That Funky Music

ouh baby. im baaaack. (: huahua. damn i miss scribbling my thoughts on my baby. :D

who else, the computer.

anw, Pavalam is coming over soon so that we can go tuition together and i STILL havent bathe or ironed my clothes. andddd, i havent done any of the assignments. ah well. full time procratinator jackass. woohoo.

sooooo, MANY things happened during my absence. if you are either a) Fatin b) Pavalam c) the object of my obsession, you would know. huahua. i think i lost a dear special friend after my birthday. and im still hurting over that loss. oh well. maybe things would get better. or maybe im just being paranoid. okay people. this hardcore feminist is back in the life of the single and freeeeee.

*headbangs*

ouhhh baby. the free life. huahua. okay, so the cellular is still being confiscated due to my.. stupidity in using too much of it for the umpteenth time. im still alive though since my BABY is hereeeeee. ahhhhhh. hyperactivity.

watched a few movies, and the top two ones would Pontianak Harum Sundal Malam and Puteri Gunung Ledang.

oh wow. the actress for Puteri Gunung Ledang is hot.

hot i tell you. and even hotter when she fights. what i like about her is her hair. HAHA. ahhhh.

the chocolate monster is behind me and making strange noises, resembling close to a.. sheep?

:D duhh, its Pavalam. i havent bathe yettttt.

okay, continue next time. im hitting the showers.

anw, Pavalam just returned from tennis lessons. LOOK AT THAT VISOR!

(:

and she just farted.

and again.

OH MY GOD.

2004-07-29T19:06:00.000+08:00

ears on: Celine Dion - Its All Coming Back To Me Now

If I kiss you like this
And if you whisper like that
It was lost long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you want me like this
And if you need me like that
It was dead long ago
But it's all coming back to me
It's so hard to resist
And it's all coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
But it's all coming back

today was shocking. aside shocking, it was embarassing. and also a surge of.. emotions i guess. but then there was the fun part. mehehe.

school was average. actually, NO. that was the later part. early in the morning that fucken Ms Chow aka the Man with PMS made my class run five rounds which prolly rounded up into the 2.4km torture each year. hrmph. but somehow running fast felt good. damn it was good. if ONLY i was in a p.e tshirt and shorts damn i would be glad to run. but not in uniform please. huerk. and that bitch didnt run. why? quote from that bitch,

"My chest pain.. My stomach pain.. Owwww.."

haKhaHkaHkahkahAHKhakhakahkahkahkah.

oh please. if you CANT run then DONT run. i hate seeing any porkchops grunting behind. but ill still smile at you face though. (: im nasty.

lessons were average. after school had the Australian Maths Competition which i find completely irrelevent in my life at the moment. hoho. i hate Maths. after that was the supposedly skipping practice. huerk. but i guess 3M1 is backing out. oh how i wish it was the dearest people of 2M2 that are in my team. damn i would sacrifice my entire time for that. (: damn i miss that class. anywhos. after finally backing out from that skipping thing decided to help 3M3 with their skipping. afterall they are the only remains of my memory of that beloved class of mine. im emotionally attached to that class. huahua. and thennn a brilliant idea slapped me in the face. :D why NOT do a combine class final for the finals right? we DONT need to have any prize. i just want those beloved 2M2 people to come an skip together again. i know Pavalam, Ria and Rafi would. they said so. so if you DO want to skip together, tell me! if you dont then just shut that piehole. mehehe.

andddddd after the skipping i realised Marsiling was against Riverside at the soccer field. and guess who i saw. mehehehehe. huerk. five years. FIVE YEARS. whatever. *grins*

and now here i am in front of the laptop still in school unifrom. eeee. huerk. i am still somewhat on hiatus from the blog though. huahua. keep the tagboard alive though.

and to FAIRUZ of RIVERSIDE SECONDARY SCHOOL!

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!

i am sooo sorry i couldnt sms you yesterday or something. i have a very very good reason for that. handphone + nosy dads = confiscation. (: but Happy Birthday Girl! may all of your wishes come true. i know you will grow up into a fine young lady, and not forgetting sucessful yo. oh you gorgeous girl, live your life to the fullest. (:

till then, toodles yaw. im beat.

2004-07-25T20:33:00.000+08:00

ears on: Avril Lavigne - Tomorrow

And I wanna believe you,
When you tell me that it'll be ok.
Yeah I try to believe you,
But I don't.

When you say that it's gonna be,
It always turns out to be a different way.
I try to believe you,
Not today, today, today, today, today..

I don't know how I'll feel,
tomorrow, tomorrow.
I don't know what to say,
tomorrow, tomorrow,
Is a different day.

It's always been up to you,
It's turning around it's up to me.
I'm gonna do what I have to do,
just don't.

Gimme a little time,
Leave me alone a little while.
Maybe it's not too late,
not today, today, today, today, today..

I don't know how I'll feel,
tomorrow, tomorrow.
I don't know what to say,
tomorrow, tomorrow
Is a different day.

Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah,
and I know I'm not ready.
Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah,
maybe tomorrow.

And I wanna believe you,
When you tell me that it'll be ok.
Yeah I try to believe you,
Not today, today, today, today, today..

Tomorrow it may change.

ive been listening to this track on Abangs laptop repeatedly for the past half hour. emotions are flooding me and i apologise if i tend to be abrupt in my MSN conversations.

i guess this song explains all that i am feeling.

(: but im really lucky to have You and my dearest superheroes.

2004-07-23T20:59:00.000+08:00

ears on: Brandy - Talk About Our Love

The more they talk about our love
The more they make it obvious
The more they seem so envious
How can they talk about our love
When they don't know one thing about
Instead they just runnin they mouth
So all we do is tune them out

mehehe. currently at Anas house since of course the dictator aka Papa has taken control of the computer. hah. knn ccb. and i think he knows this URL. and if he does read this here is a sweeeeeet message for him.

Pa, at school also got internet. HAHA. in your face. i use during recess since Mr President aka Wee Chen stupidly brings along his laptop to show off to me. hes stupid. (: always lets me use it no matter what. all i need to do is to threaten to tell people that hes gay. mahaha.

someone just added me on MSN. mahaha. related to a certain someone. somehow quite offended by her answer but what the hell. i dont give a shit. (: and to that certain someone, im not angry. i dont get angry easily. hurt? thats a different thing. but no, im not hurt by you.

ouhhh bebeh. i have to jet. update in a few moronic days i guess.

you = treefucker

2004-07-22T22:20:00.000+08:00

ears on: Dirty Vegas - Days Go By

You
You

You are still a whisper on my lips
A feeling at my fingertips
That's pulling at my skin

You leave me when I'm at my worst
Feeling as if I've been cursed
Bitter cold within

Days go by and still I think of you
Days when I couldn't live my life without you
Days go by and still I think of you
Days when I couldn't live my life without you
Without you

im going on hiatus for a few days. maybe weeks, maybe months. mehehe. the computer has been hijacked by a mofo aka Dad. and i guess i want to start concentrating more on my studies. huahua. sounds so matured and all that fuck. i guess i do want to change. no more nonsensical shits in this head.

ouhhhh, thats hard.

but i guess ill still surf with Wee Chens aka Mr Presidents laptop in school. maybe i can bodek him to let me bring that laptop home. haaa, good idea.

anywhos, till then toodles yaw. keep the tagboard alive if you want.

2004-07-21T16:20:00.000+08:00

ears on: Jamie Cullum - These Are The Days

Sometimes when the nights are closing early
I remember you and I start to smile

one word for yesterdays Racial Harmony preparation, extravaganza.

mehehe. with the given nickname as the Henna Girl i was threatened to do some designs onto the pricipals palm or get my white sari torn. huahua. and that came from Pravin aka the Vice Head Councillor. huerk. but it was cool working hand in hand with this smart arse. for a nerdy goody two shoes, damn his jokes cracks me up. :D but i was sort of moody yesterday, and today. hrmph. lets just say its something personal.

buttttt, a surprise phone call from a deary friend did bring a smile to this tired face. (: huahua. lets just say im still smiling now. and will keep on smiling since that particular person is going to call again tonight. MEHEHE. two hours of non stop bickering with that particular person rocks my socks off. *grin*

school was mundaneeeeeeee. hardcore boredom. hrmph. fell asleep in Physics, Chemistry and E Maths. oh, and fell asleep in the bus on my way back. i seriously need sleep. but theres too little time. oh damn, i feel as if this life is controlled by school and family. wake up, school. after school prolly hang around with the superheroes of mine and then go back home. then go for religious class, go back its around 9.30pm. nex thing in my scheduled life would be homework. by the time i finish my homework and do some ten year series, its nearly midnight. and thennnn i have to iron uniform and prepare for school the next day. by that time, 12.30am. sleep? around 1am or so. wake up? 6am. hrmph. its a daily cycle. and STILL my parents nag about me lagging at home.

wtf you cb!

hrmph. somebody just called and before i could answer the battery went flat. *rolls eyes* if you were to be that somebody dont go thinking nonsense. i didnt reject the damn phonecall. the battery went dead. i think that somebody knows who he is. *points finger at him*

schooool tomorrow. i feel like getting into a SUV and drive all the way to somewhere. hah, as if i have a license. and somewhere? Singapore doesnt have any nice somewheres where people can go and live life primitively.

and to this particular bitch that i just smiled to, I HATE YOU. mehehe. i hate you. i hate your attitude. i hate you bitchism. i hate you. you you you. if you were to be a plastic barbie doll, you would be stabbed long ago by a dagger. and pricked by some nails. want me to do some voodoo? hmmm, you are a plastic barbie doll. the plasticism is obvious. that pretty face of Barbie? nahhhh. you have a plastic face, but that face is not perfect. that face is fuckingly stuffed with fats from your overloaded lymph vessels.

if you know me well, i hate dissing people unless of course they deserve it. and this BITCH? daaaamn she deserves alot of dissing from me. you would diss her if you know her. which i think you do. and if you dont, shes like those obese minah-ish bitches with an average face which she thinks is adorably cute. oh, i hate her and her bloody cellulite at ever inch of her. ouhhh you piss me off bitch. stop fiddling with my things and trying on them. stop trying to get into my conversations with my deary sister.

SM = BITCH

haaaa, you know who? dont blame me for dissing her. she deserves it. and she doesnt deserve any respect from anyone. especially someone who goes calling other people FAT. ouh you stout pig, look at your porkchops. go cut them up and feed to those people in third world countries. I HATE YOU.

i think my dissing mood is on a roll.

try and stop me?

2004-07-19T21:53:00.000+08:00

ears on: Sudirman - Salam Terakhir

Demi sebuah kenyataan
Yang amat menyakitkan
Aku yang tidak berdaya
Hanya berserah padanya

Salam akhir
Salam yang teristimewa
KepadaNya ku memohon keampunan
Melaluinya ku beri kemaafan
Kepadamu

haaaaa, if you Malay kiddos dont know who Sudirman is, go spank yourself NOW! hoho. im currently listening to this CD that has the Eighties Malay hits and theres this song that goes a looooong way in my entire lifetime. this song has been played like almost every single day in my life, those days that i can remember that is. afterall at home Mama puts on Warna, Ria or Era everytime the telly is off. huahua. oh damn the song is fucking touching. (:

school was rah rah. ran about while fiddling around with the saris and lightbulbs and strings and flowers. mahaha. and from all that, i got a major headache. hrmph. halfway climbing the grille i sort of like lost balance and fell onto Jeremy Lim. ish. luckily it was like.. lets just say its like.. erm.. alah! its like THAT. no embarassing, not funny, not horny, not perfect. its a normal average kind of fall. huerrrrk. im lost for words. ive been lost for words many times today. dont ask me why. but it was fun to get into the swing of things, decorating the class without any socks or shoes. hrmph. and because of THAT, i LOST my socks. newwwww cleannnn whiteeee sockssssssss. fish you Helmi. socks are not meant to be things to be thrown around.

okay, now my hate list has grown. (: from a measly only one person, it grows to two. quote from Nafeesa,

Bitches don't deserve respect.

*grins* i HATE you, even if you see me smiling at you. even if you see me talking to you. even if i see to be the bit nice. (: and if you are feeling a tad guilty after reading this, which i think one of you will, oh girl. let that guilt seep wayyyy deep in that putrid smelling heart of yours. grow UP. being little miss prim and proper who leads with such embrassing leadership makes me want to screammmm with laughter. but i dont, and i wont. which i think is best, since i can smile sweetly at you while LMFAO at you pathetic ways of doing anything at all. i dont need you telling me what to do, what to style, whatever. I HATE YOU. and to that second dirtbag, shut your trap. shut your piehole. shut that bloody mouth. you disturb my deary buddy, you get it from me. i feel like publishing your mafugly name right here but i wont. why? cause i respect my deary buddys request to not tell the tale. funny thing was that, i just smiled at you in the morning. like i said, i prefer to laugh in silence then to stare at you. its more Me. im not like You, the both of you. hoho. you both share similar traits, from those cellulite that will suck on forever onto you skin to that horribly distorted face that you think is cute by the way. hah. one of you will be reading this, and feeeeel that guilt burrrrningggg. till then, you get to see my smiling face. (:

guess who!

till then, Mama is a treefucker but i still love her.

2004-07-17T11:31:00.000+08:00

ears on: D12 - How Come

How come we dont even talk no more
And you dont even call no more
We dont barely keep in touch at all
And I dont even feel the same love when we hug

good morning, yo. had breakfast of Ritz Cheese Cookies. hmmm.. Ritz. sounds familiar. whohoho. we all know the dearly beloved RitzBitzKidz dont we. *grins*

got the MC60 back after switching it for the 3310. huahua. i really seriously think that my brother is stupid. actually, he IS stupid. (:

last night, straightened the hair. the entire temperamental hair. why temperamental? huahua. it has different moods according to the weather. so now my hair is straight, until i hit the showers that is. haaa, i havent bathe. oh dont bother laughing. i know four more people who are facing their handphones or computers and have not taken their bathe. mahaha. Papa says my hair looks neater when its straight. it does? of COURSE it does since at home my hair is afrolised. huahua. go try putting SpecialEffects Curls Up after a nice warm shower and damn my hair gets it curls. but its cool. nobody to see me. mahaha.

ahhhh. where the hell is our class going for that Arts Learning Journey?! hrmph. i want to watch Private Parts or The Lady In Black. both seems very intriguing. Private Parts = Funny while The Lady In Black = Scary.

ouhhhhh!

two birthdays, two important people, one month.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN ADVANCE TO
FAIRUZ AND FATIN!

siak. sounds like they are twins, since their names starts with F. (: but they are born six days apart.

ouh, Syam just sms. mahaha. doing CIP at Causeway Point. so people, if you are reading this, go to Causeway Point and go donate to this poor kiddo who stands alone. huahua. all he got was about three bucks. awww~

ahhh, need to go to Tanah Merah. hrmph. toodles yaw.

oh by the way, the Bitch in my previous entry. I HATE HER! huahua.